Hello Internet

Hello Internet

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Dear NC Drivers

It's Spring here (actually it's spring everywhere it's just the weather that's different). This means it's getting warmer and flip flops are coming out.

It also means rain.  Lots and lots of rain.

I'm not complaining about rain. I love it. It makes the flowers grow and it makes the pollen go far far away.

What I don't like is how it affects the drivers down here.

Before I complain about 'locals' I want to talk about how much I love my adopted home. North Carolina is awesome. The weather, the people, the biscuits, the sweet tea.

It's all great on most days.

I'm even cool with the ridiculous way we handle the snow down here. It's rare and I get that no one is going to have enough practice for a mastery of the skill of snow driving.

Totally okay.  I'll stay home and laugh at the ridiculous rush of people to get bread and milk because an inch is being predicted.

So you totally get a pass on the lack of snow driving skills.

But what about the rain?

Seriously. Why can't you drive in the rain? For the last fours days I have been trapped behind car after car doing at least 5 miles under the limit while my windshield wipers are still on intermittent.

Traffic has been ridiculous and the roads are barely damp.

It rains all the time. You should know how to do this.

Wait. I'm having an AHA moment!!
 Is this a NASCAR thing? I know they can't race in the rain. They even have jet powered blow dryers for the track to dry the asphalt. I know this because a few years ago some guy crashed into one and it EXPLODED! Seriously. That happened.

Okay here is some knowledge. Your car does not have racing slicks. You have tires with treads that help you grip the road even when it's wet. Yes hydroplaning is a real thing but not when it's only drizzling.

Speed up people. You're making me want to find out how harsh the road rage laws are down here.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Surrealist

So I'm pretty sure I've talked about my love of weird and nerdy t shirts before.

Although according to some stupid style blog I am no longer allowed to wear ironic t shirts. (Screw you. I refuse to grow up, I AM NOT OLD.)

Whatever. They're not the boss of me.

That's why I bought this t shirt the other day.

So cool right?

You can get one here if you want to be as cool as me.

I'm guessing right about now you're confused. I'm guessing this because no one said anything about my weird shirt when I wore it.

Introspective moment: Is it possible that my weird t shirt obsession is just a thinly veiled cry for attention?     NOPE. That seems unlikely. Pretty sure that's what this blog is for. 

No one. Not even the amazing Triple S, who usually gets my weirdness.

So here comes the schooling (this is ironic because I'm talking about teaching you something while using poor grammar. That's funny 101 kids. So is explaining why something is funny.)

Salvador Dali had a pet anteater that he would take for walks!!
 Okay so that isn't why you might know him He was also kind a big deal in the art world.  Painted a bunch of 'melting' pictures that looked like they came straight from the mind of the kind of man who would have a pet anteater.

Pure crazy town. This one is called the Persistence of Memory because that makes total sense. He also hung out with Picasso! Picasso people! Oh and he has his own museum. Sure it's in Florida instead of Paris but I'm pretty sure it's still a big deal.


I had a poster of one of his paintings in my room at Boat College. Because when you wear a uniform every day and are only allowed one poster and one picture in your room you need to pick something that lets everyone know you are insane. Or at the very least borderline loopy. Dali is clearly the best choice to convey this message.

So there you go. Now go forth and put this knowledge to good use. Like getting another crown on Trivia Crack.