Sunday, April 19, 2015

Dear NC Drivers

It's Spring here (actually it's spring everywhere it's just the weather that's different). This means it's getting warmer and flip flops are coming out.

It also means rain.  Lots and lots of rain.

I'm not complaining about rain. I love it. It makes the flowers grow and it makes the pollen go far far away.

What I don't like is how it affects the drivers down here.

Before I complain about 'locals' I want to talk about how much I love my adopted home. North Carolina is awesome. The weather, the people, the biscuits, the sweet tea.

It's all great on most days.

I'm even cool with the ridiculous way we handle the snow down here. It's rare and I get that no one is going to have enough practice for a mastery of the skill of snow driving.

Totally okay.  I'll stay home and laugh at the ridiculous rush of people to get bread and milk because an inch is being predicted.

So you totally get a pass on the lack of snow driving skills.

But what about the rain?

Seriously. Why can't you drive in the rain? For the last fours days I have been trapped behind car after car doing at least 5 miles under the limit while my windshield wipers are still on intermittent.

Traffic has been ridiculous and the roads are barely damp.

It rains all the time. You should know how to do this.

Wait. I'm having an AHA moment!!
 Is this a NASCAR thing? I know they can't race in the rain. They even have jet powered blow dryers for the track to dry the asphalt. I know this because a few years ago some guy crashed into one and it EXPLODED! Seriously. That happened.

Okay here is some knowledge. Your car does not have racing slicks. You have tires with treads that help you grip the road even when it's wet. Yes hydroplaning is a real thing but not when it's only drizzling.

Speed up people. You're making me want to find out how harsh the road rage laws are down here.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Surrealist

So I'm pretty sure I've talked about my love of weird and nerdy t shirts before.

Although according to some stupid style blog I am no longer allowed to wear ironic t shirts. (Screw you. I refuse to grow up, I AM NOT OLD.)

Whatever. They're not the boss of me.

That's why I bought this t shirt the other day.

So cool right?

You can get one here if you want to be as cool as me.

I'm guessing right about now you're confused. I'm guessing this because no one said anything about my weird shirt when I wore it.

Introspective moment: Is it possible that my weird t shirt obsession is just a thinly veiled cry for attention?     NOPE. That seems unlikely. Pretty sure that's what this blog is for. 

No one. Not even the amazing Triple S, who usually gets my weirdness.

So here comes the schooling (this is ironic because I'm talking about teaching you something while using poor grammar. That's funny 101 kids. So is explaining why something is funny.)

Salvador Dali had a pet anteater that he would take for walks!!
 Okay so that isn't why you might know him He was also kind a big deal in the art world.  Painted a bunch of 'melting' pictures that looked like they came straight from the mind of the kind of man who would have a pet anteater.

Pure crazy town. This one is called the Persistence of Memory because that makes total sense. He also hung out with Picasso! Picasso people! Oh and he has his own museum. Sure it's in Florida instead of Paris but I'm pretty sure it's still a big deal.


I had a poster of one of his paintings in my room at Boat College. Because when you wear a uniform every day and are only allowed one poster and one picture in your room you need to pick something that lets everyone know you are insane. Or at the very least borderline loopy. Dali is clearly the best choice to convey this message.

So there you go. Now go forth and put this knowledge to good use. Like getting another crown on Trivia Crack.




Thursday, March 26, 2015

15 years

15 Years ago today I married Triple S. 

Actually we didn't get married for another 15 days but that's a story for another day.

Today is the day I wore the dress and we said romantic stuff while everyone watched so we will count it as our anniversary.

It was wonderful but that isn't what I wanted to talk about today. Today I wanted to talk about what I thought I wanted and what I got.

I remember counting the days till our first anniversary because then we would just be regular married people. Regular. Normal. Married. People. Not newlyweds.

That was what I wanted.

More than anything I wanted my regular life to start.

On our first anniversary Triple S and I went to a lovely French restaurant. We ate escargot and dined by candlelight. It was romantic and wonderful. Then we went home and ate frozen, year old, cake.

Is that still a thing? It really shouldn't be. that cake was GROSS! But we had a few bites. Enough to ensure tradition was followed before throwing it away.

I remember thinking regular life was going to start now. My normal life.

I'm not sure what I thought that meant. Maybe eating breakfast together while solving a crossword puzzle? Maybe going on road trips to see the world's biggest ball of twine?

Clearly I had no frame of reference. That was why I wanted it so badly.

It's been 15 years. A few moves, a bunch of job changes, some adorable kids and too many ridiculous things to list. Nothing has been 'normal' or 'regular' and that has been the best part.

What Scott (Triple S) has taught me is that it really doesn't matter what you are doing and where you are but who you are with.

I'll gladly spend the next 15 years with him. Probably more than that if I'm lucky.

So thanks for the life lesson and everything else. <3<3<3 Happy Anniversary husband of mine!


Thursday, March 19, 2015

WTF Amazon!

Obviously Amazon is awesome. Especially if you have a prime account. The free movies and music are whatever. I have netflix I don't need your pity Amazon! But 2 day shipping?

Hell yeah!

Do I need this book/sneaker/sticker/coffee/charger/whatever thing? Maybe but it can be here in two days so ...... Yes please send it to me.


Back on point.

Did you guys know I LOVE obnoxious t shirts? Nerdy or weird or full of ridiculous fandom love.
I love them. I wear them to work and to the gym.

Most people who see me on a regular basis have noticed this about me.

It isn't unusual for someone to send me something like this on FB.
They come in the form of texts too.

 Usually Triple S is mentioned in the hopes that he will get creative and everyone will get cool new t shirts.

It's happened before.
These were all made by the amazing Triple S
This one is for our fantastic Alma mater!

OMG I am so far off topic. Not that this is shocking to you. Certainly this is something that is a regular problem.

Any who....... Origin story over!

I was on Amazon, amusing myself by looking at t shirts, and I decided to see if there was anything Krav Maga related.

WTF Amazon! Every thing, all the time, isn't about men. You sexist pig. I hate you!

Phew. Deep breaths. It isn't fair for me to judge Amazon like that. Let me change my search parameters.



Much better. Look at those pants. So cool.... Wait one minute. Did you just suggest I search for "women krav maga" in "men's boxing clothing"?

You're a misogynistic a-hole!

I'm never ordering anything again. I'm going to cancel my subscription. So not cool. It's time to take a stand. Just like Patricia Arquette did. Yeah! Girl Power!

Ohhhhh. How much is a box of Cadbury eggs? 

I was totally kidding about that stuff above. I'm just going to write an angry twitter post and get a hashtag started. #sexistamazon!

Lets do this ladies.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

I Need a Child Psychologist. STAT!

No not because I act like a crazy child.

You guys are not very supportive. Seriously I try and blog and all I get is grief.

Just kidding. You guys are the best.

So It's year three of my adventure as a preschool teacher. Once again I have lucked out in the student department. I have kids that are sweet and listen (well, listen as well as anyone can expect a group of four years olds). They try new snacks without complaining and know how to make one hell of a collage with glitter and pipe cleaners. Seriously Picasso would be jealous.

Basically they are tiny awesome humans.

EXCEPT for one thing,

When they all sit down I ask them a question in the negative form or the affirmative.

Examples:

Raise your hand if you DON'T like grapes.

or 

Raise your hands if you Do like grapes.

Either way they all raise their hands. Not because they all do or don't like grapes but because they are insane. Or at least that is my conclusion but I'm not a child Psychologist. Hence the title of today's blog.

Do they not get the concept of a the need for only some of them to answer?

You know what? I'm going to let it slide. Trying to figure out how the mind of a 4 year old works seems a bit futile plus they are raising their hands and not calling out. I'm counting that as a win.

Yeah me!


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

little green bag (notebook)

All the best intentions.

Right?

Remember when I told you all about my cool new green notebook? Remember I was going to write all my brilliant thoughts down in it?  I'm of course so brilliant that I needed two books.

All of this should be familiar to my faithful readers.


As of right now there is one thing written in my book.

One thing.

It's a note about growing out my hair. I actually have half a post saved but I'm lazy right now and I don't want to deal with finding the pictures that I need so it's sitting in the draft folder for a bit longer.

I'm not sure why I thought I was missing out on so many ideas. Cocky much?

Instead you are getting this which is so clearly just a filler post but hey it's something right?

I need some serious inspiration. Suggestions?

Happy Wednesday.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Pinterest



Did you know you can pin other people's pins?

Of course you can. What the hell else do you do when you get sucked into the black hole that is Pinterest. Certainly you aren't about to start any projects because we know that is going to end poorly. Instead we just look at pin, after pin, after pin of pallet furniture and CD bird baths.

That isn't the point though.

I thought Pinterest was all about single girls assembling ridiculous expectations for their future house and their future wedding. Turns out apparently it's more about nerd love and carpenter envy.

I'm of course using only the latest in scientific research to prove this.

By research I mean the alerts I get from Pinterest about my account.


fireplace built ins | Built ins around fireplace/tv | Living Room 
This is the number one thing people repin. Lovely isn't it? Did you know Triple S is a handy guy? Seriously. He can build something like nobodies business. He didn't build this but he was looking for inspiration for our fireplace wall so I of course went to the place where people go when they want to give themselves a complex about how uncrafty they are or how their house will never be featured on the internet. Pinterest!!

That's not the point though. The point is that this is the number one thing about my pinterest account that people like. 

This scene made me smile so much.  Actually, I just need to add this quote to my list of arguments.  "I brought you kale.  Kale, and my love." 
This is the second thing.

Nerd's love pinterest.  PS the above is from Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. Obviously this is a show I watch obsessively. Phil Coulson is my spirit animal.

Nothing about that above statement is shocking to anyone who has been paying attention.

Okay. That's enough of this blogging silliness. I wonder how much Doctor Who stuff is on Pinterest?

And just in case you were curious my green notebook is still blank.