Monday, July 14, 2014

ORPHANS (yes this again)

TV and movies give orphans and single parented kids a very unrealistic view of death.

It used to be just soap operas that had people coming back from the dead. Or suddenly an identical cousin would show up but either way it was harder to kill a soap opera star than a vampire.

I say this because the kids and I just got back from How to Train Your Dragon 2.
This has nothing to do with this post but this part was super cute.

So if you haven't seen it I'm supposed to warn you about spoilers but based on what I just wrote and the fact that that is the first movie I mentioned you can kind of guess what happens.

So read on, all the other shows will be old enough that if you haven't seen them you can stop pretending you are going to.

Still here? Good.

As we left the theater I couldn't stop thinking about all the times this had happened off the top of my head. Alias, Castle, Grimm, 90210. I'm sure if I wanted too I could find more but I didn't. I'm being lazy plus this isn't really a post. Just a a quick ramble. So no details about how these shows brought back dead parents or why it was ridiculous.

Just a few honorable mentions though because the nerd in me can't resist.

On some shows it isn't parents it's people in general. No one is really dead.  EVER!!!

It just occurred to me that right now there are two shows on TV all about random people returning from the dead.

Thanks entertainment for messing with the permanence of death.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Binging (I checked. That's how you spell it.)

I want to add an 'e' so it doesn't look like I'm talking about BING. Cause I'm not.

This is not a post about poor eating habits either. Although I could do that.

I'm going to talk about Netflix.

It's summer so most regular TV is on a break. It's the perfect time to drown yourself in an entire TV series. I love Netflix. It is an amazing thing to be able to watch a movie whenever the hell you want.

Remember when I was a kid we had to wait until it came on TV and it would be "modified for content" or butchered for language and worse still it was cut so it  would fit on the screen. Remember I'm old and TV screens used to be a different size than movies.

It seems like this should have been fixed a lot sooner but alas we were forced to only see half the movie. Sometimes it wouldn't mater and others it would seems like the cinematography was a big fan of panning back and forth.

WOW. sorry but that was some serious rambling.

Back on topic. I love Netflix but I can't binge watch it. If I know a whole season is available I'll watch 2 or 3 episodes then I will want to cut to the end. This is especially bad if I know Netflix has the entire series.

I'm not saying I wont go back and watch the rest of the show at some point but I just want to cut to the chase.

Hmmm sexual tension between the two main characters on a show that ran for 6 seasons?

You know they aren't getting together till at least season 4 and then they will break up in season 5 and finally end up back together in season 6 to make the fans think everything ends with a happy note.

How about I just cut out all that drama and get to the good part?

Next episode? No thank you. I like to watch them out of order.

Maybe that's why I loved Firefly so much?

Hmm that's something to think about.

Something else to think about is the TIME SUCK that is pinterest I just spent 15 minutes looking for a simple poster of Firefly and instead pinned 4 movie quotes and 3 cross stitch patterns for Jayne's hat. Like I can cross stitch? 

Friday, July 4, 2014

Life is a Balancing Act

OMG she's about to get deep. Feelings might come out.

Sure you could infer that from the title but not to worry. This isn't that blog and I'm not that girl.

Perhaps you are aware of this but I have what some might refer to as a "fresh mouth". I've been called sassy, smart mouthed, sarcastic, frequently ridiculous and always flippant.

My first instinct is to make a joke and never to remain silent.

(This is so true that I once joked about my friend's father's passing less than a week later. Much to the horror of everyone else in the car.)

Each time before I open my mouth I weight the consequences. It might not seem like that but I really do. Sure sometimes I still make the wrong call and offend someone or hurt someone's feelings, but I did think about it.

Sometimes the consequences come back on me and I have to decide if I'm willing to pay them.

In high school I could pretty much mumble anything under my breath and remain untouched but then I decided to go to a military college with rules and regulations. Punishment for opening my mouth went from a stern lecture to push ups and extra work.

The good news was my arms were really strong. The bad news was that I really had to make sure opening my mouth was worth the punishment.

After that though I was on my own and the consequences pretty much went away. If you didn't like that fact that I was frequently, brutally, honest you could always choose to not be my friend.

The other night I was reminded again that there can be potentially painful consequences for calling someone out.  In Krav Maga I felt it was possible that the instructor might have been fudging his stop watch. His "10 seconds more." seemed a lot longer than they should have and not just because I was sucking wind.

Calling him out earned me and extra ten seconds of suckage but it was totally worth it.

Balancing acts require some give and take. I'll take an extra ten seconds of punishment every day if I get to speak my mind.

See how I brought that back around to the fact that today is the Fouth of July?

Freedom is an amazing thing. Make sure you are using yours wisely.

This photo is called irony. Just because you are free to do something doesn't mean you should.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

TBT: the sequel

Remember when I told you I got a check from BMG when Mili Vanili turned out to be a fake?

Blame it on the Rain is still an awesome song but apparently someone else sang it. Whatever.(in order to find this link I just had to peruse YouTube and of course I listened to the whole song so yeah I stand by my earlier statement.)

Where am I going with this? Good question.

BuzzFeed had a list today that made me think of this. 

Remember in the back of your Teen magazine there was that little tear out? For a while it was ten cassettes for a penny and then in switched to ten albums for the price of one.

Of course then you were trapped in some album of the week nightmare and if you didn't pay attention some guy from BMG was going to come a knocking looking for his money regardless of whether you wanted the latest release from lil bow wow or not.

I'm old enough that the first time I got taken with this scam it was still cassettes.

Yeah I'm old. Get over it!

I was still trying to figure out how to be cool though so my albums were all classic rock even though I didn't know how to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd. Now despite having already lived through this mail order nightmare once I did fall for it again when I switched over to CD's.

Today's BuzzFeed's list made me smile although by my count I only had 5 of the 25 albums on it.

Which 5 you may ask?

I'm not telling. I've already said too much about my questionable taste in music.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Name Game

It's summertime. That wonderful, magical time that we look forward to all year right up until it happens then we complain how bored we are unless we have seven friends over every day.

Magical I tell you!
Don't look directly at it. That dangerous!

 We have some regularly scheduled stuff during the week, Krav Maga, gymnastics, music, the gym. Nothing that can't be moved around to indulge in some quality pool time though.

That is a good thing because we love the sun. By 'we' I mean 'I'. I love the sun so much! Give me a book and a beach towel and I am a happy girl.

My happy place!

Today though the kids were taking turns annoying each other. It's gotten to the point where I would rather they call each other not nice things because they are making me hate the names I chose for them and it wasn't an easy choice.

We put some effort into making sure neither of them had the same name as ten other kids or a confusing name with a weird spelling or something that rhymed with fart or butt-hole.

Kids are cruel and you need to think about the 9 year old jerks when you are naming your sweet baby. (I guess there are other more practical things to consider too but you have to have priorities.)

Colin was the result of a popularity contest. Triple S wanted Connor but according to the Social Security website it was more popular than Colin so I won out.

Natalie was another story entirely.  We had such a hard time picking with her. She was going to be Riley right up until the week before she was born. Then in a fit of insane pregnancy hormones I freaked out because I felt like there were Rileys every where. So I changed my mind. I say I because Triple S didn't say anything. If he thought I was insane he choose to remain silent and go with the flow.

Thank god we didn't have anything monogrammed. That would have been an expensive hormonal freak out.

So now if they could just stop whining at each other about everything I could remember how much I loved their names.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Sophomore Scream

Year 2 of teaching preschool is in the bag and I don't mean to brag but I did pretty good. I avoided the sophomore slump nicely.

Fact: My parents cheered the loudest at the graduation ceremony. (I didn't even have to pay them)

Opinion: My kids were the greatest. (although the other kids were pretty awesome too.)

Fact: Without my trusty side kick Robin I wouldn't be able to be so awesome.

Opinion: I'm pretty good at this. (At least I hope I am.)

So let the summer begin. It's time to get my tan on. (PS Remember sunblock is your friend!)

Before I let my brain cook in the Southern sun I want to remind you of a few things.

1. Glitter is like the sand of crafting. It gets everywhere and no matter how hard you try there is always a little more.

2. Hugs from small children are great. Even better are hugs that come with sweet words.

3. You can build up a tolerance to snot. Not something I wanted to learn.

4. I've never met a child that didn't like goldfish crackers.

5. Coloring with crayons is very calming.

6. Pretty band-aids are the cause of more injuries than old benches.

7. If you bring me a cup of coffee I can be swayed to do, or forgive, just about anything. Bubbly water also works.

So have a fun summer kids and if you remember only one thing from my class make sure it's that being yourself and being weird is better than normal everyday of the week.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Meat is tasty Murder

This weekend isn't about barbecues and long weekends.

It's about freedom and the people who selflessly provide it for you. The people who wait at home for someone who may or may not return. The people who get paid less than the fry guy at McDonald's to be away from their family for months, possibly years at a time.

But this isn't that blog so we are going to talk about food because no one comes here for political rants. Although I can try some if you want. I'm pretty good at ranting in general in case that wasn't obvious.

Seriously though, THANK A VETERAN!!

Now on to the stories about meat.

In an attempt to be healthier red meat is a rarity in this house but despite my earlier tirade we did attend two barbecues this weekend. Both included some super yummy food and burgers.

I love a good burger.

I don't mean some factory made meat patty. I'm talking hand formed, spiced to perfection beef.

This is the awesome part though.

There are a lot of subtle signs of friendship. Some of my favorite are the little things. Knowing how someone takes their coffee. Knowing their favorite movie. Favorite color.

The pinnacle of this weird info though is knowing how someone likes their burger.

Twice this weekend I was presented with burgers that were cooked to my version of perfection.

By the way, that is rare. I mean so rare that a skilled veterinarian could possibly resuscitate it.  I don't care about salmonella or e coli or food poisoning. I like to live dangerously and obviously the people I love most know this about me.

So thank you for my mooing burgers and for knowing me. You guys are the best.

Happy Memorial Day!!!