Monday, May 6, 2019

Mama Bear VS Sheepdog Mom

Moms want what's best for their kids. They want them safe to grow up and flourish. Live a better life than their parents. And when things don't go their way those same mom's, who cut the crusts off sandwiches and make homemade Halloween costumes, turn into fierce and dangerous Momma Bears.

The problem is that Momma Bear's claws and teeth aren't real. All roar and no bite.

Don't get me wrong lots of things in this world can be fixed with words and a strong backbone.

Momma Bears aren't a bad thing.

But there is something better. An option that does have teeth. An option that has claws and knows how to use them.

The world is complicated and sometimes the ability to defend yourself and those you love most is required.

Bears cannot be relied upon to attack when needed. Bears aren't Man's best friend.

That place of honor is held by the dog. (I don't want to hear about cats. That's crazy talk.)

So I don't want to be a Momma Bear I want to be a Sheepdog Mom.

I want to be your friend. I want to make you feel safe. But never for a moment doubt that if needed I have teeth and claws and I will use them to protect what's most important to me.

I know that in order to be a sheepdog I must first acknowledge that there are things in this world that are evil.  They are rare but they are still out there. At first, it's scary admitting there are things in the world that want to hurt you. But once you start to learn to be aware you realize you can avoid them.

It's liberating to know there isn't much you can't handle.

So who wants to be a sheepdog instead of a momma bear?

My favorite people have a sale going on right now. 

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You know I have a favorite group and they want Mom's safe to so they have a discount code.

They have15% off the entire site now through Mother’s Day with code: SDRMOM

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Another 365 days on this earth.

Next week I turn 43.

Forty-Three Years Old.

I should FEEL old. I should be slowing down right? Finding a nice relaxing hobby like knitting or fast mall walking. Maybe wear a lot more velour.

All of these are solid options.


In the last month, I got to fight Tim Kennedy, I competed in a Crossfit competition and I signed up for the Ranger Up Grappling Tournament.
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I have no plans to slow down. 

No plans to "go easy".

I wish I had found this purpose earlier in life but since I don't have a time machine that kind of thinking is useless so instead I'm just going to keep pushing forward. 

Keep striving to be better, faster, stronger, HARDER TO KILL.
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So no pressure. No guilt. But if you're ready to join me let me know.

Like so many other things the first step is the hardest.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Sheepdog Training Part Deux

           From the day I finished the level one course I wanted more. I would have stayed forever just repeating the training over and over again if they would have let me in the most perfect version of Groundhog Day ever!!!

So when the amazing people at Sheepdog Response announced a level 2 class I was thrilled.

But before we get to how awesome the course was lets start at the end.

The moment three days of training is over and you feel a pit form in your stomach because although you are tired and sore you don't want to leave.

Surviving a difficult journey with a group of people forms a bond.

When you add to that the fact that we were all there with the same goal in mind it can be hard to walk away.

Then there are the instructors who so clearly have an intense desire to share their insane amount of knowledge.

I joked with another student about how we wanted this to be our life now. Wake up and train Self-defense, eat lunch then train weapons and Psy ops (is that what it's called?).

Like a real-life spy movie only better because I was the star.

It's hard to walk away from that unchanged.

When I went to the first class I already had a desire to be HARD TO KILL but I was unfocused and unsure about if what I was doing was enough or even the right thing.

I was so happy to realize I was doing exactly what I should be. Plus I got all kinds of tips for what needed more work. What I could be doing better.

I came back with a fire in my belly. With a renewed commitment to being the most badass mom on the block.

More than that though I realized there are a whole group of people who feel the same way.


That's the current vernacular.   That's what the kids call it.

Whatever you call it though that isn't the point.

The point is having people who understand what drives you and help you reach your goals. People who push you and offer advice to be better. People who understand your priorities.

I could write a 47 page paper about how much better I got in just three days of training, of what it feels likes to have some of the most deadly people on the planet compliment some tiny aspect of what you are doing.

Imagine Beyonce said you had a pretty singing voice?

Imagine Tom Brady said you had a good spiral?

These instructors are the BEST at what they do and they want to share that knowledge with you.

More than that though they want to help people.

Talking at the end of class with Tim Kennedy about what he was doing in the coming weeks he joked about going on a speaking tour to "make money" before he deployed again.  I countered with some comment about Sheepdog not making him a millionaire yet and we laughed. I could well imagine that between range time and travel, not to mention paying all the amazing instructors there probably wasn't much left over at the end of the day.

His response was so telling of a man that just wants to help make the world safer one person at a time.

"This is for my soul."

Think about that for a minute.   He is sharing his time and knowledge with as many people as he can because he genuinely cares. I guarantee if pressed the rest of the instructors would have a similar reason for being there.

Find people like this. Find them and learn from them.
Don't let anything get in your way. Don't let anyone tell you that you are too anything to give up on something important to you.

Side Note:
If you are reading this and you have questions or want to know more about this amazing group just ask. I will gladly tell you just how awesome I think they are and why you should take a class with them.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Never Quit

I attended Sheepdog Response's level 2 class this past weekend.

I'm working on a long post about how awesome it was but this is going to be short and sweet.

It was hard. Taxing both physically and mentally. What was amazing was how I felt physically.

Thinking back to a few years ago when a day at the zoo would leave me tired and achy. To a day when I would always chose the elevator/escalator/moving sidewalk over walking.

We did 3 days of almost 5 hours of hard physical work and I never got tired. Sure my heart rate went up and I was sweaty and breathing heavy but I never thought about how happy I would be when it was over.  I never looked at the clock counting the minutes till our next break.

Progress is SLOW and sometimes you feel like you aren't making any but don't quit.

If I can do this. You sure as shit can to.

True Friends

I was 35 before I realized what it was like to know people who don't judge or tell you that the things you like are stupid or that the choices you make aren't great.

I mean real friends do tell you your ideas are insane but they tell you that because they love you and want you to be safe and not get hurt. They tell you your ideas are crazy but that you are awesome for being crazy.

This isn't to bash any of the friends I made before 35. Some of them were and are still awesome people but I was never comfortable enough to be 100% me.

I worried that if I showed them the full level of crazy they would cringe and run away. I realize now they wouldn't have but I worried a lot about it then. I worried about a lot of things.

I wasted a lot of time on what others would think or say or know about me.


A thing I sincerely hope I am able to teach my kids a lot sooner than I figured it out.

None of this self-reflection is the point of this blog though.

It's a thank you to one of the few people who saw the full level of my crazy and said "let's be sisters."

Obviously, she is crazy too.

That goes without saying.

There are so many things about my ridiculous life right now that are directly thanks to her.

I don't mean little things. I mean BIG things. Most are thanks to her pushing and prodding.

We are not little talks people. I don't call to tell her about my new favorite coffee shop or some cute new shoes I got. We are BIG talks. Life changing talks and emergency calls in the middle of the night.

We are women of action. Not words.

So in an effort to change that and make sure she knows how awesome I know she is I am going to scream it into the internet void.

Thank you for everything.

If you were able to eavesdrop on just 10% of the shit I tell people about you your ego would no longer be able to fit in a normal sized elevator.

Friday, March 29, 2019


Today's workout was another 100 rep challenge.

You remember I got stupid last time and ended up pushing myself.

Not a bad thing. Seriously. You SHOULD FOR SURE PUSH YOURSELF to find your limit.

But this isn't some motivational speech bullshirt.

I don't have time for that, not to mention motivation is crap.

PS I totally have time to go into that but I'm still not going to.

So back to the workout today:

100 bench presses at 50% of your 1 rep max.

Now I haven't pushed my bench in a bit because I got jacked up. I haven't talked about this on here but I messed up my shoulder at the Ranger Up Grappling Classic in November.

By messed up I mean I partially tore my rotator cuff and tore my labrum. So like real real messed up but not enough to require surgery! Yeah. So since November it has been gentle lifting, no hard rolling and lots of complaining.

Finally though it is starting to feel better. FINALLY!!

So 63 pounds go on the bar and the bar gets pushed up 100 times.

I did a better job of estimating this time because I sure as hell wasn't going to do another 100.

It's funny. It seems like such a big number but when you chip away at it you're suddenly done and 100 doesn't seem like much at all.

Just 4 x 25
or 5 x 20
or 10 x 10

I mean there are so many variations and you don't even need to make the groupings the same number. You can switch it up however you want. Seriously you are the boss.

So basically I made another 100 rep challenge my bish!

Thursday, February 28, 2019

On the Path to becoming a Sheepdog

One of the greatest things people say to me is that they are safe when they are with me.


In a world where scary things happen to good people, they feel safe with me.

That is a compliment I don't take lightly.

So what does a married mother of two kids do to earn that?

I'm not special forces. I wasn't a SEAL. I didn't take ninja training at age 4. I was just a regular person doing regular things until a few years ago.

It started with a thought.

My kids trusted me to keep them safe when they were little. Most kids do. They call you when they wake up from a nightmare. They ask you to check the closet before bed. They hold your hand when they are unsure.

You are their hero. 

Their protector. Larger than life and invincible.

I wondered how long would that last? How long until they realized I was just a regular mom?

How long before they realized my yelling wasn't going to stop the very real dangers of the world?

There were really only two options. 

1. Wait for that inevitable day with trepidation and fear.

2. Make sure that day never comes.

When you see it laid out like that it isn't hard to go with choice 2.

This mama bear was going to have more than mean looks to offer should anyone try and hurt my people.

So cool. The decision is made. Get some claws and teeth.  (Metaphorically of course.)

SHIT.  Where does one even start to do that? How do I become the person that keeps others safe? If you're young enough there are some very obvious choices. Military, Police, Fire.

Although even if you are young that is more a general thing. Keeping everyone safe. Maybe you don't hear that call to be a protector of the masses. Maybe, like me, it was just those little ones that lived in the same house as you that you wanted to protect.

It being the digital age everyone's first step is the internet. Maybe you can ask Alexa?  I can only imagine that the results are more information than one person can sort through. So let's not talk about generalities. Let's talk specifics. Let's use me as a case study.

Step one.
I was not in good shape by any definition. I had spent the last ten years sitting at a desk making excuses about my "big bones" and other bullshit. I doubted I could run away from danger nevermind do anything to stop it.

So I joined a gym. It sucked. I could barely stand 20 minutes on the treadmill. I would leave a sweaty discouraged mess but I reminded myself that it didn't take 10 minutes to gain the weight and it wasn't going to take 10 minutes to lose it. Slowly, and while I was just continuing to go, changes happened.
I started taking classes and then I found weights.

Side note. I DEADLIFTED 308 POUNDS the other day. I don't say this to brag. I'm pretty sure the first time I tried deadlifting anything I was happy to break 100 pounds. Just like everything else it takes time. BUT also HELL YES!!!  #308

Step two.
I found an awesome martial arts program based on self-defense. No fancy spin kicks. Those are for stunts and the Olympics.  I wanted efficiency not flashy.

We started training in real-world scenarios right away. Things that were likely to affect my life. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF THE HARD WORK. I loved the training partners that left me bruised and tired, the confidence I felt when we left at the end of the night.

Step three.
Get a concealed carry permit. One class wasn't enough though. Were you a good driver after drivers ed? HELL NO. You had a basic understanding. It took years to feel comfortable. I got my ass to the range. I took classes. I PRACTICED.

As time passed I started to feel like that dreaded day when the world would make my kids feel unsafe with me might not come but I wanted more.  I wanted to be sure I was doing everything I could to be hard to kill.

It's not like I was really worried about anything happening.

We live in a safe place. We lead a regular life. We don't take unnecessary risks.

Sadly though that doesn't keep you safe. The world is changing. Or maybe it's always been this way and we are just now paying attention enough to notice? That's a debate for people a lot smarter than me.

I wasn't preparing for the inevitable I was preparing for something I hoped would never come. That's a hard concept to grasp. Why put so much effort into a thing that is probably not going to happen anyway?

Because if it does I'm going to make sure my people are protected. So if you feel safe with me it's because you ARE.

I seek out and try anything and everything I think will give me an advantage.  I am part of a growing group of people that want to protect. That want to feel safe.


Maybe you've heard the adage before.

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Doesn't matter what you call it.

In a few weeks, I will go to Texas to train with some like-minded people. I will make sure that I am learning everything I can from the most qualified people to make sure you always feel safe with me.

If you read this and your first thought was you want to join me then I'm going to save you the internet searches and missteps that lead to bad youtube videos.


I'm serious! Sheepdog response is the best first step you can take.
Sheepdog Response

So full disclosure. These amazing people have chosen to let me help them in their mission. I get to sing their praises and tell you all the reasons you should take a class. I know. That seems insane to me too but until they come to their senses I'm going to see how much good I can do.

Questions? Seriously ask me anything and I will do my best to send you in the right direction. 

Mama Bear VS Sheepdog Mom

Moms want what's best for their kids. They want them safe to grow up and flourish. Live a better life than their parents. And when thing...