Showing posts from 2012

A Few of My Favorite Things.

Okay really only one thing.

Fried rice!!!

At this point I'm sure you are scratching your head and thinking I was going to talk about Christmas stuff. You know, egg nog, carols, teapots, whiskers on kittens (that's what Julie Andrews was really talking about). By now you should know that nothing here leads where you think it's going to.

I love the South. I might have mentioned this once or twice.

It's not perfect though. There are some things lacking here that I might have taken for granted while I was living in NJ. I was just about to list a bunch of cultural stuff but lets be honest, who cares about any of that?

Food. I miss the food.

So lets go back to the beginning of this confusing story.

At thanksgiving the preschool where I work had a breakfast, each classroom was responsible for a portion of the aforementioned breakfast. My kids had to bring breakfast meat. Suggestions included, sausage, bacon, liver mush(if you don't know what this is it's apparently b…

Holiday Spirit

I have two unrelated stories today because I like to keep you guys guessing as to what will come next.

Story number 1:

Today was a busy day. There was a long list of stuff I was supposed to get done and it was going to be one thing after another. At some point I realized I was starving so I popped into Subway (so I get paid for product placement?) to grab a quick bite.

I was all set to get some chicken and veggie, healthy, Jarrod approved sandwich when the guy in front of me ordered three 6 inch meatball subs. As the subway lady put them together I was seduced by the red sauce. When it came time to order I got one.

Side note: No judging! I normally make my own sauce from scratch and never buy frozen meatballs. NEVER. But it looked so good and I was so hungry!

Anyway, I ordered the sandwich and moved down the counter towards the register. When the gentleman in front of me got there he paid for his and then added to cashier that he would pay for mine too.

It was such a nice surprise. I …

Triple S Would Make a Horrible Spy

Not because he has a bad poker face or because he can't be sneaky.

He has a great poker face and he can be very sneaky. This comes in handy because like a 6 year old I will search for my Christmas presents. It's not that I don't like surprises.

I do. I just have no self control. (I'll pause while you gasp dramatically.)

Triple S can't be a spy because he answers questions in his sleep.

Scott works on a tugboat. He works a 2 and 2 schedule. For you non boat people that means he works for 2 weeks on the boat (yes, he even sleeps there), then he is home for 2 weeks. That is 2 whole weeks where he has nothing to do. Well nothing except my honey do list. It usually isn't that long since I'm handy.

You would think this would mean I would make him do all kinds of stuff so I could take a break but because I am so freaking awesome I don't do that. Also it's just easier to do most things myself. (And it's possible that I'm a eansy weensie, tiny bit of…

My GIANT tree

This is not a complaint. (Triple S has pointed out that just by saying this I am already complaining.)

I wanted to start with that since this is going to sound a lot like a complaint.

My living room. It has a ridiculous double ceiling.

When the children are running around the echo is deafening. No amount of pictures or carpets seems to deaden the sound.I thought about pretending we live in a castle and cover the walls with tapestries but it turns out they aren't cheap. Or attractive. Or available at Target.

So for eleven months out of the year I'm not a fan of the ridiculous waste of space that is the double ceiling.

But it's not those eleven anymore. It's December!

The one month when I love the stupid thing.

Seriously joyful!

It's Christmas! And the number one thing that Christmas brings besides joy and children singing in harmony, and world peace, and wishes and family outings and .... Sorry I got sidetracked there for a moment.




I'm Thankful I'm Handy

Yeah it's two weeks after Thanksgiving but I'm going to post about things I'm thankful for anyway.

I'm thankful my pops, the big RECCO, fixed everything. We never called a plumber or an electrician unless they were related to us.

When I was little he had only blue collar jobs. He would come home covered in mud and blood, but even when he got himself a fancy office his hands still betrayed his handiness. Massive with thick callouses, they always had a few cuts because although dad was handy he was also impatient. He would jam that giant mitt into the tiniest places because it would take longer to get the extension for the wrench.

He once sawed a socket wrench in half because it wouldn't fit in between my engine block and the radiator. Of course he couldn't be bothered to file the edge so the radiator fluid and his blood mixed into a horribly macabre Christmas decoration all over the driveway.

Not that he noticed. We always needed to point out to him when he was…

I walk with Danger!

This sounds like it's going to be be about a lifetime movie.

It's not.

It's going to be about situational awareness. Which now that I type it sounds really boring.

Trust me it's not boring.

It's awesome, like everything else on this blog. As awesome as New York City's Fourth of July Fireworks.

Alright maybe I'm over hyping this?

I mean I don't want you getting all excited and then I just tell you some ridiculous story about socks or tire pressure. (those were both options BTW)

Lets start over.

This post is the perfect amount of awesome. Not too much and not too little. Are you ready now?

Last night I went to the gym for a late night class. When I walked inside my car was the last one in the farthest row in a crowded parking lot.

When class was over my little blue car sat all alone in a poorly lit corner. It was just like a scene in a movie. Where it suddenly feels like your car is a thousand miles away and there are wolves howling in the background and…

This is NOT a Political Post

I repeat! NOT a political post.

My kids are awesome.

I might have mentioned this before, and yes I realize I am slightly biased but that doesn't change their aweseomness.

You might have noticed earlier this month it was election day. Between the robo calls, nasty commercials, debates, recap, speeches, fundraisers, stumping (still not sure what that means), baby kissing, finger pointing, pundit screaming.....

Sorry. I got caught up for a moment.

So unless you live in a bomb shelter or the dark ages (no I don't mean you NY and NJ) you know election day is a big day for politicians.

I won't tell you how I voted or why because this is NOT a political post. I might have mentioned that already. I will talk about my kids now.

Between my preschoolers on Monday and my daughters kindergarten class on Tuesday I got to hear some colorful descriptions of the two gentlemen running for the white house.

Side note: Please remember even when you think your kids aren't paying attention the…

Reading is Fundamental

I think at this point everyone is aware that I am a lunatic. Seriously. I've given you enoughproof.

Here's the coolest part about being crazy though.

Other crazy people.

I know a lot, of varying degrees of course. (you can't have a bunch of tens. That never ends well.)

Back on point.

This is the picture one of those awesomely crazy people posted on Instagram (yeah I have one of those accounts too.) Found in a nice little antique shop. (The aforementioned friend, April, LOVES her some vintage. )

80 cents and this little gem could have been on her night stand. I have to admit that I'm just a little disappointed that she didn't get it. They call that buyer's remorse.

Seriously, what does this baby know? Is it some sort of demon baby? Does it involve Milk and BGH?

This book is deep. On one level it has a half naked man holding a tiny baby. Two things genetically designed to drawn women in.

So sure you grab it and you start checking it out. You can't deny a mil…

One (more) Weird Thing About Me

Not sure what the total number of crazy traits I've revealed on this blog is but I'm adding one more.

I sing in the car. Actually I sing anywhere I am alone or just with my kids. I do so loudly and as often as I can. If I'm watching the Voice I get excited when I can sing along.

Now none of this is really weird. Lots of people love Karaoke and even more sing in the shower. The weird part is that I think I'm good. Not Adele or Aretha Franklin good. I'm not delusional. (stop laughing)

I'm totally good enough to sing in some local cover band. Or at least that's the crazy story I tell myself in my head when I'm BELTING out tunes.

Old and new. Today's play list in the car included Nina Simone, Melody Gardot , Bruno Mars and Maroon 5. There was some other stuff mixed in but those are my favs. The ones I really go to town on.

So if you are on my street and the windows of my house are open, there is a good chance you will hear some singing. If you think I&…

I Could Take Him

A statement I make on a regular basis. Probably more than once a day depending on how many people I encounter.

Seriously. It's a problem. I look around a room sometimes and I think about who is the first person I need to eliminate if a giant bar fight breaks out.

This is of course a little ridiculous as I spend most of my time either at the Preschool where I work or my kid's school. It's unlikely a massive, no holds barred, ladder and chairs match is going to break out.

Doesn't mean I don't think about it.

At this point I'm sure you are questioning my sanity. First, stop judging! Second, pretty sure I told you I was crazy up front.

None of that is the point.

Today some guys from a local Karate School came in and gave a lecture about anti bullying. They did a pretty good job but that still isn't the point.

I count take them.

I could totally take them.

I mean I would have had to leap over a bunch of under fours but I could totally take them.

That's n…

Chili Cook Off (Take 2)

All of my faithful and fantastic followers know that for some bizarro reason I entered a chili cook off a few weeks ago.

Then there was thunder and lighting and buckets and buckets of rain and it was cancelled.

So I did it again. 10 plus gallons of chilli cooked and ready to hand out.

 The event was supposed to run from 4-8.

I ran out of Chili at 6.

Half way through, and I was out!

My only saving grace was that I wasn't the first. I cleaned up my table and started to wander only to realize about half of the 40 competitors were out as well. 

10 gallons seemed like a ridiculous amount of chili and it was gone (two spoonfuls at a time) in 2 hours!

I didn't win. In case you were wondering. (I call Bravo Sierra)

The police did.

I wanted to make some comment about the judges not wanting to make the people with guns angry but then I remembered that this is the South and everyone carries a gun.

There was also a peoples choice winner. Based on ticket counts I came in about 5th there wh…

Natalie is AWESOME.

Sometimes my daughter is so awesome it hurts.

She doesn't want some borderline creepy costume for Halloween. No fishnets or glitter or pink hair.

None of that for my princess.

She wants to be a scary werewolf.

I hope she never wants to be like the other girls. Different is so much more interesting.

Oh yeah and she draws Daleks on our chalk board.


in case anyone is wondering if I play favorites Colin is also awesome. He actually chose to read a book this morning on the car ride to school instead of playing his DS. (If you don't know what that is I'm very very jealous.)

A book people! Now mind you it was called Captain Underpants but he was still reading it!

Mother Nature Hates Chili

I think it has something to do with Methane and Global Warming but I can't be sure.

I might have mentioned that since we moved down to the South I have a lot of free time.

Isn't this blog proof of that?

So along with other ridiculous things a few weeks ago I decided to enter a Chili Cook-off. Sure, why not?  That's what people with free time do with a Saturday.

So I bought everything I would need for my World Famous Autumn Vegetable Chili (that I only invented when I was at the grocery store shopping for the cook-off and now that I think about it the name is kind of misleading since it was actually a meat chili but it had vegetables in it.)

Perhaps I should re think the name?

Stay Focused!

So I cooked. All day.

Then I went and borrowed a tent, a table and a pot. I set everything up in my designated location.

The Chili was hot. There were festive gourds and table clothes and I had been given my sign so everyone could vote for my chili.

Everything was perfect. Then I sent Tr…

Zumba (It's not just a late night infomercial)


This past Sunday was the Zumbathon.

Right now you might be thinking that I have mentioned that twice but still not explained it. To you I say two things. 1) thanks for reading this and 2) chill out. I'm getting to it.

Zumbathon (third time, please don't turn this into a drinking game) is the Fundariser Zumba runs for the Sunsan G Komen Foundation. A worthy cause. Breast cancer affects 1 in.........

Sorry this isn't that blog. We all know Cancer is BAD but if you need some uplifting story you are going to have to go elsewhere.

Here you get sarcasm and cynicism, probably some weird observations. Oh yeah and buckets and buckets of CRAZY.

So back to Sunday. On the infomercials everyone looks like they are having so much fun. Jumping and shaking their "money maker" (I'm sorry, I will never say that again). All wearing matching Zumba gear.

That's crazy.

Except that is pretty much how every class goes. Without the matching gear. That stuff isn't c…

My D'Oh Moment

Yesterday morning started out like most days.

I got up. Got the kids ready and drove them to school.

Then since it was Thursday I headed over to the gym for Cardio Ballistic (not nearly as scary as it sounds).

After an hour and a half of sweating a few ladies and I headed over to Caribou Coffee to talk about dogs, daughters, no big whoop.

Time passed pleasantly enough as we chatted about crazy families, road rage, kids and the theory of wave particle duality.  (we're smart ladies. It isn't always about shoes and purses.)

As the time came to leave we wandered over to our cars talking about one of the funniest books of all time. In my humble opinion.

As it happens I had gone to a reading and purchased a book for a friend. I even had it signed because I'm an awesome friend. Just, apparently not awesome enough to actually mail it to her.

 But I digress.

So as we were talking about Stanley the Magical Squirrel (seriously read the book.) I remembered the extra copy in my truck. …

bees and explosions

I got a phone call today. My peanut was stung by a bee while she was on the playground. It was my first phone call from the nurse. Obviously she is fine. Sadly she has been stung before so no swelling up or trips to the ER for her.

She did tell me all about the sponge in a bag she used as an ice pack. It was yellow in case you were curious.

Now for the explosions.

On the way home today Colin proceeded to go through an entire one man show in the style of a Steven Seagal revenge flick. Imagine Hard to Kill.  That was before he got all patchouli smelling, planet saving preachy.

There was a lot of "And then ____ was like..."

Some exciting car chases that involved lots of police and explosions.

There was even a twist where some one's wife was killed but it was just fake. She was actually okay but hiding. (who saw that coming?)

Admittedly the narrative needs a little work but it wasn't bad for a first draft. (Plus he's only 8)

About ten minutes in he asked if I was ti…


Stop what you're doing!

9 people in Russia are reading my blog.

Okay you can go back to your lives now.

That's all I've got. Just thought is was cool that I've gone INTERNATIONAL!

Stay close by though just in case people from Australia start reading. I'm saving this image for future need.