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Showing posts from February, 2014

Frankenchicken

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No doubt you have seen this "story" on Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, instagram, weekly world news or some equally trusted news source.

Before I start my rant I just want to see if I got this straight.

You think you found the link that proves KFC has mutant chickens on a farm somewhere?

Where is this farm? Indiana? Montana? (Seriously I have no idea where we raise chickens?)

How come PETA isn't freaking out?

You remember PETA? They want us to treat mice as equals to humans. They have that catchy slogan "meat is murder". I guess the lesser know part of that is "except for genetically modified meat."

Alec Baldwin can't eat a bagel without someone taking a picture but no one is paying attention to a farm where featherless chickens with extra legs frolic in beautiful green fields? (I have lawn envy.)
By the way KFC changed their name in 2005. Almost ten years ago. A decade of mutant chickens and no one noticed.

In the last few years people have been l…

Hairstory: living on the scissors edge.

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So back when I was about 12 I got a really short hair cut. A pixie some would call it. It wasn't something I wanted or thought was a good idea but I tried to convince myself it would work out.

Right about this time there was a commercial for Doublemint gum that featured two reasonably attractive women with short hair.

I could be just like them.

Look how carefree they are in their matching tennis sweaters. For some reason I remember them having a tandem bike and yes I know that isn't helping my case.

Stop judging me. It was the 80's dammit!

In the end though I really didn't have a choice, you see a few months before I had been talked into a perm. Oh yeah! The kind where you sit at the salon for hours with that horrible stinky stuff on your head.  I was never crazy about that idea either but remember it was the 80's.

Needless to say it turned out awesome (sadly I don't have any pictures so you'll just have to take my word for it.). The problems started not l…

Snowmageddon 2014: The end will be COLD

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Snowpocalypse, how about Snowragnarok? Snowtaclysm? Snowlocaust? Get me a thesaurus and I'll do this all day long because anything is better than naming storms. Damn you Weather Channel! Damn you straight to Hell.

If you own a TV you have heard about the East coast's epic snow storm. (Polar Vortex) The second in the past few weeks. Certainly you saw the footage of the Atlanta traffic jam or you heard about the school closings?

The internet is awash with cartoons and angry responses. Northerners laughing at Southerners who can't handle two inches of snow. Southerners calling Northerners meanie heads and other equally hurtful names.

So far my kids have missed 6 days of school.

Yeah 6 days.

This isn't a bash the South blog though. Lets be honest people. Driving in the snow is a skill  and if you have never done it you aren't going to be aces your first time out. But then I guess that is my point.

DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IF THERE IS SNOW ON THE GROUND!!!

You know o…

Tales from The Preschool

In the past I have talked about being a teacher and all the funny stuff, I mean all the educational stuff we do.

Remember when I taught the kids to keep "one hand for the ship."? Epic.

This week my success is measured in the words of one of my sweet students.

Student: (hand raised) "Miss Ronnie, I have a statement."

Yeah! A five year old said that.

He said that because when we are all gathered round in the morning to talk about the letters, shapes, colors, the calender, the weather, dogs and daughters, (no big whoop) and who is going to Hilton Head that weekend a lot of hands interrupt my knowledge imparting.

Now I'm totally cool with questions (even off topic ones that involve why Miss Ronnie wears so many Batman shirts) but I'm not a fan of random stories.

How cruel. They are just little kids. Let them share their joy.

Chill! I totally let them share, sometimes overshare, just not during 'circle time'. That's what people in the know call it.

I…