Friday, February 14, 2014

Snowmageddon 2014: The end will be COLD

Snowpocalypse, how about Snowragnarok? Snowtaclysm? Snowlocaust? Get me a thesaurus and I'll do this all day long because anything is better than naming storms. Damn you Weather Channel! Damn you straight to Hell.

If you own a TV you have heard about the East coast's epic snow storm. (Polar Vortex) The second in the past few weeks. Certainly you saw the footage of the Atlanta traffic jam or you heard about the school closings?
Holy Crap Atlanta.

The internet is awash with cartoons and angry responses. Northerners laughing at Southerners who can't handle two inches of snow. Southerners calling Northerners meanie heads and other equally hurtful names.

So far my kids have missed 6 days of school.

Yeah 6 days.
Pretty accurate sign for everything.

This isn't a bash the South blog though. Lets be honest people. Driving in the snow is a skill  and if you have never done it you aren't going to be aces your first time out. But then I guess that is my point.

DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IF THERE IS SNOW ON THE GROUND!!!

You know one tiny little inch causes people to freak out so stay the hell home.

What about the people who can't stay home? Like Doctors and Firefighters? 

Fine. That is what? Like 5% of the population? Get yourself a 4x4 and go to work and thank you for being there if I need you.
Two inches is generous. This also happens with flurries.

I'm looking at you Bread and Milk people! STAY HOME. What the hell are you doing with all that stuff anyway?

Same goes for you lady who can't miss her nail appointment. You can and you should.

Today is not the day to run out and grab a quick bite to eat.

OMG I forgot I don't have any cumin!

Seriously. I will slap you. STAY HOME.

Get cozy. Maybe turn on your free Netflix trial. Snow days are perfect for TV marathons. May I suggest the BBC's Sherlock. Then you can join in the Internet's obsession with Benedict Cumberbatch.

In the mean time I will be shovelling. UGH! Something I though I was done with when I moved down here.
 It wasn't all bad though. The kids got to build an actual snowman.
Yeah he's wearing sunglasses. It was bright out and I don't have any coal. Wait. Maybe I should head to the store to get some?



That was a test. If you just yelled at me to stay home then you have learned something today. Now go forth and share your new knowledge with all of your friends.

2 comments:

  1. We're in the VA mountains. We were supposed to get 10 to 14 inches in this latest named event. We got 23 inches. And then the wind was like, "Partaaaay!" and tossed it all around to create beautiful works of snow art on our road. Those measured 3 to 7 feet. My son and I went exploring and found one that went down the road for 25 yards. It was all very Snowragnarok for a few days until someone came with a tractor and blower to free us. ;)

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    1. There is a tiny part of me that misses "real" snow. Then I cruise the internet and see pictures of people trapped in their cars and I'm cool with our southern storms again.

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