Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Christmas Shopping

Normally I hate people who rush the holidays.

When I see Christmas decorations up in October I get very annoyed.

But I'm going to break my own rule because I was out and about the other day and came across some fantastic items that would be perfect for that special someone on your list.

Unicorns aren't just for little girls. This fantastic family, complete with bastard Pegasus, would look perfect sitting next to your fancy lawyer's desk lamp.

For the political buff that has everything. Who doesn't want a plate to commemorate the McCain Obama debate from 2008? Remember when McCain asked "Are you afraid I couldn't hear him?" when the moderator kept telling Obama to talk directly to McCain?

How about this adorable creature. For the person who has outgrown stuffed animals but still loves cute and cuddly dead animals. Everyone knows marsupials make the best friends.

Check out this old family photo. Maybe you were adopted or you come from a bunch of nomads. This guy would lend an air of importance to your office and that made up family story about you being a third generation Judge.

What about that friend who always makes a New Year's resolution to lose weight? It will be so much more fun stepping on this every morning instead of some boring old plain white digital scale.

What about those empty nestors? This handsome little guy will make the loneliness easier to handle. He'll make sure you know you are loved, and watched, every minute of everyday. Sleep tight.

This is the ultimate power painting for that corner office you've been eying since you started with the company 5 years ago. They say you should dress for the job you want. That goes for art too. That "hang in there." kitty poster screams middle management but this winged man riding a Pegasus (is he the reason the unicorn daddy drinks?) says you are vice president material.

Sure people are afraid of clowns but that is because they have never meant this subtle and suave guy. He doesn't throw banana cream pies at you or squirt water into your face from a flower. He is all about Kierkegaard and James Joyce.

Last but not least this guy. Imagine how quickly your house will be added to the local garden tour with him as your centerpiece. You will be the envy of every house frau in the PTO.

So yeah. Maybe it's a little early to start getting crazy but you'll thank me later when you aren't wandering about the mall on Christmas eve looking for one last present.


  1. Agggh!! That "handsome little guy" is going to give me nightmares...as may the rest of these finds.

    Although...I DO have a few on my list who might deserve such a "gift"....

    1. If not for the price tag he might have come home with me.

  2. Lol!! This just made my morning Ronnie!! :)

    1. Some people look for the perfect mission style table but not me.

  3. I...Am...DYING!!! I am totally glad you broke your early Christmas rule to bring us these gems. I realize now that what I really need in my life is a stuffed marsupial. I may need to up my credit card limit because I don't think I can live without the winged man riding a Pegasus (I think painted on reclaimed wood of some sort?) either. It's going to be a great Christmas!! --Lisa

    1. He is awesome. He has his own wings and yet he rides a Pegasus. You know it's because of his ego. He needs help carrying that thing around.

  4. Feeling so inspired and no, not frightened at all. (hold me).

  5. I'm all over the clown!! Shelf Elf, you have met your match!



In a week I turn 44. I'll be spending my birthday in my house because my options during the time of COVID are limited. Not that I woul...