Hello Internet

Hello Internet

Friday, March 22, 2013

If you are reading this I might already be dead.

The Spartan Race is tomorrow and I'm scared.

People keep telling me I'll do fine but I'm pretty sure they are lying. Their eyes keep darting to the left when they talk. I watch crime procedurals. That's a tell along with something called a micro-expression.

I also know bleach can't get rid of blood stains but I haven't tested that out.


Not the actual river but it could be.

New information of the "race" is that the first obstacle is a river which is swollen thanks to all the rain we've gotten in the last few weeks.


Did you know the average temp for March in NC is actually 57?

Not the 35 that is predicted!




There is a fire at the finish line. I figure by then I might be more inclined to hang out and warm up then to jump over it.



The only good part about the weather is I figure it might level the playing field a tiny bit. I am from up North. Once I went scuba diving in DECEMBER on CAPE COD! Certainly not one of my most brilliant ideas but I did it. Not to mention I owned a snow blower because I lived in a place that got enough snow to need one. So I'm cool with the cold. (pun intended)

Or these are all lies I keep telling myself so that I won't break down and cry.

The other good thing about the cold (still trying to convince myself it is a good thing that it wont be 60 and sunny) is the lack of exposed skin. Confused?



I don't want to be stuck running behind Lady Abs!  I seriously doubt these women are human. Certainly they have never polished off an entire sleeve of girl scout cookies.


They say I will "know when I'm at the finish". I'm not sure if that's true. You know one of the side effects of hypothermia is hallucinations so there's a good chance I might think I'm on the bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise.

So if you are reading this on Saturday, know that I lived a good life and that I'm going to a better place. (Probably another lie but it's getting harder to tell)



1 comment: