I wish I had found this purpose earlier in life but since I don't have a time machine that kind of thinking is useless so instead I'm just going to keep pushing forward.
Keep striving to be better, faster, stronger, HARDER TO KILL.
So no pressure. No guilt. But if you're ready to join me let me know.
Like so many other things the first step is the hardest.
From the day I finished the level one course I wanted more. I would have stayed forever just repeating the training over and over again if they would have let me in the most perfect version of Groundhog Day ever!!!
So when the amazing people at Sheepdog Response announced a level 2 class I was thrilled.
But before we get to how awesome the course was lets start at the end.
The moment three days of training is over and you feel a pit form in your stomach because although you are tired and sore you don't want to leave.
Surviving a difficult journey with a group of people forms a bond.
When you add to that the fact that we were all there with the same goal in mind it can be hard to walk away.
Then there are the instructors who so clearly have an intense desire to share their insane amount of knowledge.
I joked with another student about how we wanted this to be our life now. Wake up and train Self-defense, eat lunch then train weapons and Psy ops (is that what it's called?).
Like a real-life spy movie only better because I was the star.
It's hard to walk away from that unchanged.
When I went to the first class I already had a desire to be HARD TO KILL but I was unfocused and unsure about if what I was doing was enough or even the right thing.
I was so happy to realize I was doing exactly what I should be. Plus I got all kinds of tips for what needed more work. What I could be doing better.
I came back with a fire in my belly. With a renewed commitment to being the most badass mom on the block.
More than that though I realized there are a whole group of people who feel the same way.
A TRIBE.
That's the current vernacular. That's what the kids call it.
Whatever you call it though that isn't the point.
The point is having people who understand what drives you and help you reach your goals. People who push you and offer advice to be better. People who understand your priorities.
I could write a 47 page paper about how much better I got in just three days of training, of what it feels likes to have some of the most deadly people on the planet compliment some tiny aspect of what you are doing.
Imagine Beyonce said you had a pretty singing voice?
Imagine Tom Brady said you had a good spiral?
These instructors are the BEST at what they do and they want to share that knowledge with you.
More than that though they want to help people.
Talking at the end of class with Tim Kennedy about what he was doing in the coming weeks he joked about going on a speaking tour to "make money" before he deployed again. I countered with some comment about Sheepdog not making him a millionaire yet and we laughed. I could well imagine that between range time and travel, not to mention paying all the amazing instructors there probably wasn't much left over at the end of the day.
His response was so telling of a man that just wants to help make the world safer one person at a time.
"This is for my soul."
Think about that for a minute. He is sharing his time and knowledge with as many people as he can because he genuinely cares. I guarantee if pressed the rest of the instructors would have a similar reason for being there.
Find people like this. Find them and learn from them.
Don't let anything get in your way. Don't let anyone tell you that you are too anything to give up on something important to you.
Side Note:
If you are reading this and you have questions or want to know more about this amazing group just ask. I will gladly tell you just how awesome I think they are and why you should take a class with them.
I'm working on a long post about how awesome it was but this is going to be short and sweet.
It was hard. Taxing both physically and mentally. What was amazing was how I felt physically.
Thinking back to a few years ago when a day at the zoo would leave me tired and achy. To a day when I would always chose the elevator/escalator/moving sidewalk over walking.
We did 3 days of almost 5 hours of hard physical work and I never got tired. Sure my heart rate went up and I was sweaty and breathing heavy but I never thought about how happy I would be when it was over. I never looked at the clock counting the minutes till our next break.
Progress is SLOW and sometimes you feel like you aren't making any but don't quit.
I was 35 before I realized what it was like to know people who don't judge or tell you that the things you like are stupid or that the choices you make aren't great.
I mean real friends do tell you your ideas are insane but they tell you that because they love you and want you to be safe and not get hurt. They tell you your ideas are crazy but that you are awesome for being crazy.
This isn't to bash any of the friends I made before 35. Some of them were and are still awesome people but I was never comfortable enough to be 100% me.
I worried that if I showed them the full level of crazy they would cringe and run away. I realize now they wouldn't have but I worried a lot about it then. I worried about a lot of things.
I wasted a lot of time on what others would think or say or know about me.
Foolish.
A thing I sincerely hope I am able to teach my kids a lot sooner than I figured it out.
None of this self-reflection is the point of this blog though.
It's a thank you to one of the few people who saw the full level of my crazy and said "let's be sisters."
Obviously, she is crazy too.
That goes without saying.
There are so many things about my ridiculous life right now that are directly thanks to her.
I don't mean little things. I mean BIG things. Most are thanks to her pushing and prodding.
We are not little talks people. I don't call to tell her about my new favorite coffee shop or some cute new shoes I got. We are BIG talks. Life changing talks and emergency calls in the middle of the night.
We are women of action. Not words.
So in an effort to change that and make sure she knows how awesome I know she is I am going to scream it into the internet void.
Thank you for everything.
If you were able to eavesdrop on just 10% of the shit I tell people about you your ego would no longer be able to fit in a normal sized elevator.
