America's next top handgun model

Sadly there won't be any Tyra Banks or competitions where I try and make myself look like a zombie or a fairy princess. (What I do in the privacy of my own home is none of your business.)

Part of the wonderfulness of living in the South is the conservative nature of the population. Less government, more guns.  I might be simplifying their ideals a bit but it's okay to use stereotypes right?

Colored bullets? Yes please. Do they come in purple.

So glad you guys are on the same page as me.

So when we moved down here Triple S and I embraced the more laissez fair attitude that the South associates with firearms and joined a range.

Point Blank Range is a top notch facility where we are always greeted with sarcasm and attitude. This isn't, of course how they treat everyone. The staff is awesome. Helpful, knowledgeable and funny. But Triple S and I aren't fans of sincerity. It confuses our bitter hearts and makes us look for deception.

Okay so Triple S is probably fine with sincerity as he had a pretty normal childhood. I'm the crazy one with an entire matching set of baggage.
Just because I keep my crazy in it doesn't mean it shouldn't be pretty.

No judging on the internet. (I'm pretty sure that's a rule.)

Stop babbling!

Sorry. Thank goodness the voice in my head steers me back on point or I would be rambling on about closets, the color orange and my irrational fear of guinea pigs. (only some of this is true.)

Seriously! Focus!

Where was I? Oh yeah. Modelling. Obviously I was born to be photographed. Seriously. Have you seen this chin? It has the cutest little butt right on the middle. I know gap tooth smiles are coming back. So that means the next logical "big thing" in the modelling world will be butt chins. I've heard this from some very reliable sources including Barbizon. Those people know what they are talking about.

Dear god in heaven get back to your point. If you ever had one. 

Today I got a call from the above mentioned range to see if I was available to come down and participate in a photo shoot for what I can only assume will be their nationwide marketing campaign. You aren't going to be wasting this kind of magic on just the local paper, that is just insane.

Obviously I asked them to contact my agent and after some tense negotiations they agreed to my terms. (my contract rider would rival anything J-Lo could come up with.)

So Monday I'll be getting my pretty on. Obviously they need some time to fly my hair and makeup team in.  I'll let you all know how it goes.

 Serious note:

If anything in the post offends you CHILLAX! obviously I'm using sarcasm with a heavy hand.You must be new. You might want to try reading some of my earlier works to get accustomed to my speech patterns.


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