Sunday, August 25, 2013

Customer Service Roulette

Have you ever played this game?

It's super fun and not stressful at all. Seriously! I swear. You can trust me.

"How do you play?" (I'll assume this is what you are thinking right now.)

Excellent question.

First step is to have a problem.

 "Oh My God! I have one of those right now!" Of course you do. Who doesn't?

Next you dial the 800 number clearly found on your Credit Card/pop tarts box/instruction manual.

Punch 0 over and over again in the hopes that you will get a real person.

Realize that punching 0 disconnects you and then start all over with dialling the number (you can't use redial because of the gratuitous pressing of the number 0)

Actually listen to the robot voice prompts and press the numbers that best describe your problem.

Listen to ridiculous 70's hold music/company promotion/PSA about heart health.

"I love the Bee Gees and I eat Cheerios." See how much fun we are having already?

When a human answers the phone, repeat to them 5 times all of the information you were previously forced to try and enter via the numbers on your phone.

Explain your problem/missing piece/question.

"I'm sorry ma'am but without paper blah blah blah I just don't see how I can help you."

Now comes the really fun part!!!!

Start all over and hope the next person who answers the phone has a different answer.

"That's ridiculous! and fun." (Again I'm assuming this is what you are thinking.)

I couldn't agree more but I don't make the rules nor did I invent the game so I can't take all the credit for it's awesome powers of calming.

So happy dialing.




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