Cause I'm Damaged Goods.

Right now we are attempting to deal with some tragedy and I do that best by making off color jokes and being obnoxious. Luckily my friends give me wonderful fodder for both.

Triple S jokes that I should always be on your team in any sort of trivia game. I love Jeopardy and Trivial Pursuit. There is a ridiculous amount of random knowledge in my head. Add to my love of weird facts all the random things I've done (for work, for fun and as a volunteer) and it turns me into the person people call with odd questions.

 This weeks weird stuff included:

My dog ate a raisin. (They're bad for dogs like chocolate.) A friend with a new pup was panicked because one of her young children dropped a single raisin onto the floor at which point the tiny pup gobbled it up.

Of course the Internet didn't help to calm her fears so I got the call. Luckily I was able to calm her down and the pup is doing fine.

How do I cook pork chops? I provided a few quick ideas, hints to make sure they didn't get dried out. Apparently people were coming over for dinner who don't eat chicken, fish or red meat. (Is that reverse Kosher?)

Then there was the conversation I had with the Starbucks lady about this:

 

Cat Poop Coffee!!! I love fancy coffee but this is a bit too weird for my tastes.
PS it's $45 for 4oz!!!! Consider this against 4oz of Starbucks at $3.50. (That's 4oz of beans not coffee.)

 Strangers seem to assume I know things too. A lady at Dunkin Donuts saw my military ID and proceeded to ask me if it was normal for people in the service to elope. See her daughter had recently married her Marine boyfriend in a quickie service at the courthouse. Mom was very unhappy about missing out on the big day.

Anyone else have weird questions they need answers too? Anything about large mammals? Homeopathic remedies? How to get crayon out of your laundry? I'm here and ready to help you out.