Did you know that I like the Yankees?

Yeah well I do. And not just because they're awesome and I'm awesome so obviously we are a match made in heaven. I've loved them since I can remember.

You remember in the 80's when they were awful? Yeah I still loved them. Of course it's possible I loved them more when they were winning but it's hard to be sure. Plus I don't like to think I'm the kind of person that would feel that way. Totally not cool.

Why are you telling us about your love for a sports team?

Excellent question.

I'm telling you because Triple S was watching his favorite team in the play-offs.

Before you ask it's the Red Sox and no I don't want to talk about it. He can't be perfect.

Now I'm not bitter about the Yankees having a sucktacular season but that doesn't mean I'm about to start enjoying the Red Sox playing. I seriously don't I hate them. Not because they are my favorite team's epic rival but because they don't understand word definitions.

That's a weird reason to hate a team.

Yeah it is. Still it's is a reason.

uniform

1.identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place, or moment to moment: uniform spelling; a uniform building code.

2.without variations in detail: uniform output; a uniform surface.

3.constant; unvarying; undeviating: uniform kindness; uniform velocity.

4.constituting part of a uniform: to be issued uniform shoes.

5.Mathematics . occurring in a manner independent of some variable, parameter, function, etc.: a uniform bound.

I want you to concentrate on definition #1.

Short pants and a scruffy beard. NO!

Long pants and another beard! NO NO!

Please read above again. It's called a uniform for a reason. And it isn't just because they liked the way the word sounded. 

Did you know Steinbrenner had a dress code? or a hair cut code? Not sure what he called it. 

 

Yeah. George did that. After the Red Sox won the world series they did spots on lots of TV shows including a makeover one. A few of the players got haircuts and new wardrobes but they were not allowed to touch Johnny Damon's hair. Of course all that changed after he joined the Yankees.

So I don't care if it's no shave November even though it's October. Get a haircut you Hippies! You're on a team, you can express your individuality after you choke and the season is over.