Hello Internet

Hello Internet

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Uniform

Did you know that I like the Yankees?

Yeah well I do. And not just because they're awesome and I'm awesome so obviously we are a match made in heaven. I've loved them since I can remember.

You remember in the 80's when they were awful? Yeah I still loved them. Of course it's possible I loved them more when they were winning but it's hard to be sure. Plus I don't like to think I'm the kind of person that would feel that way. Totally not cool.

Why are you telling us about your love for a sports team?

Excellent question.

I'm telling you because Triple S was watching his favorite team in the play-offs.

Before you ask it's the Red Sox and no I don't want to talk about it. He can't be perfect.

Now I'm not bitter about the Yankees having a sucktacular season but that doesn't mean I'm about to start enjoying the Red Sox playing. I seriously don't I hate them. Not because they are my favorite team's epic rival but because they don't understand word definitions.

That's a weird reason to hate a team.

Yeah it is. Still it's is a reason.

uniform








1.identical or consistent, as from example to example, place to place, or moment to moment: uniform spelling; a uniform building code.
2.without variations in detail: uniform output; a uniform surface.
3.constant; unvarying; undeviating: uniform kindness; uniform velocity.
4.constituting part of a uniform: to be issued uniform shoes.
5.Mathematics . occurring in a manner independent of some variable, parameter, function, etc.: a uniform bound.

I want you to concentrate on definition #1.
Short pants and a scruffy beard. NO!

Long pants and another beard! NO NO!

Please read above again. It's called a uniform for a reason. And it isn't just because they liked the way the word sounded. 

Did you know Steinbrenner had a dress code? or a hair cut code? Not sure what he called it. 






Yeah. George did that. After the Red Sox won the world series they did spots on lots of TV shows including a makeover one. A few of the players got haircuts and new wardrobes but they were not allowed to touch Johnny Damon's hair. Of course all that changed after he joined the Yankees.

So I don't care if it's no shave November even though it's October. Get a haircut you Hippies! You're on a team, you can express your individuality after you choke and the season is over.




3 comments:

  1. I don't get the whole..no shave November thingy anyway

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  2. Well I have to agree with you - the beards on the Red Sox suck !!! I don't like beards but if you are going to have one at least have it trimmed neatly !!!
    But, other than that, and the fact that the Yankees are my second favourite team we don't have much in common when it comes to baseball because the Red Sox ROCK !!!! I love that team - our whole family (OK there are only 3 of us) love that team !!! And we are so glad they are going to the WS - and we hope they don't choke and beat the pants off St Louis !
    And I love why you don't like them - hilarious !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

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  3. I do believe you should go back and edit your post to read, "2013 World Series Champion Red Sox". Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete