A) The worlds most expensive popcorn kernel.
B) The reason we didn't see dinosaurs or go swimming.
C) The thing my daughter shoved in her ear.
D) All of the above.
If you picked D you would be correct.
What? Why would a five year old shove a corn kernel in her ear? I have no idea.
What I do know is that sometime Monday night she found this item in the playroom and put it in her ear. Of course she didn't say anything till I got home from the gym Tuesday morning.
Natalie: Mom I have to whisper something to you.
Me: What Nan? (I lean in close. Not that I need to. Natalie doesn't whisper as much as she Drunk Whispers.)
Natalie: There's a nut in my ear.
So I pull her into my bathroom and sure enough I can see something pushed in there. After a quick poke with tweezers I accept that this is beyond my skills and call the pediatrician. Of course they can only see me if I can get there in 15 minutes.
I've talked about my sweatyness before. It's not good. But I have no choice.We run out the door.
After two minutes the pediatrician agrees that "that sucker is really in there" and we head home with a trip to the ENT scheduled for later. (Ear Nose and Throat, in case you have been lucky enough not to have had any use for a specialist.)
Now we are on doctor number 2 and attempt number 3 to get this thing out of her ear. Sadly this guy can't do it either and he even has a high tech ear vacuum.
There is some brief discussion about "holding her down" while he just grabbed the dam thing.
The majority of me wanted to say hell yeah! It would serve her right if it hurt. Plus our next step was a surgical center and anesthesia! In the end though, non evil mom won out and we left with a prescription for ear drops based on the guarantee that this thing would cause an infection (Natalie's FIRST).
In case you are keeping track. We have now visited 2 doctors. (40$ co pay x 2) and we are heading to the pharmacy for drugs. ($10 co pay).
So we wait another day and then wake up obscenely early and head to the surgical center. The same one that we went to in January. You might remember the Great Appendix adventure.
We arrive an hour early as instructed and they take us back. Questions are asked and then re-asked. Vitals and checked and rechecked. No less that 6 nurses introduce themselves to us and check Natalie's ID bracelet.
Finally they wheel her back. I walk to the waiting room. Pour myself a cup of coffee and sit down. I pull out my book to relax and wait for news.
I read one page.
I got a cup of coffee and read ONE page and the doctor came out.
When I walked back no more then 10 minutes after leaving this is what I was greeted with:
The nurses commented that she was the first kid to wake up with a smile.
I might want to choke her if she wasn't so awesome.
This is how I wanted to spend my Spring break:
Mini Golf with all my Blondes.