Hello Internet

Hello Internet

Monday, June 10, 2013

CAbi (now I know what it stands for)

Last night I went to one of those home shows. You know, like a Tupperware party only for nice clothes.

They were seriously nice.

Classy even.

The consultant did a great job showing us all the pieces and putting them together in different ways while we made her job a challenge by calling out obnoxious things about the names or the sizes. (seriously there was a pair of jeans called the "baby boot" and a shirt called "keys please" it had keys on it.)

Before I continue and my snark comes out in full force I want to say how great almost everything was. (Except for the fuzzy vest. But hey, they can't all be winners.)
http://www.godammit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/sonny-and-cher.jpg
To their credit they didn't have the striped pants.



 Seriously if I was richer, skinnier, cooler, (insert your own excuse) I would have bought a lot of stuff.

As is usually the case with woman and wine we got louder and louder as the night went on. Niceties went out the window and everyone was some form of street walker. Or lady of the night, if your prefer. 

I tried on anything and everything I could squeeze into. Some of it looked nice while others ..... Hmm what's the word I'm looking for?

Redonkulous. Thank you Urban Dictionary.

I might have mentioned that I am exercising and trying to be a healthier person since we moved South. In total I've lost almost 80 pounds, which is awesome. High five for me!


seriously? Does someone need a diagram for this?



That doesn't change the fact that I am a "busty" girl. A real challenge in the dressing department. Some of you might remember the great bathing suit debacle of 2012?

If you too are a "busty" gal then you know there are rules to what you can and cannot where. In general anything with ruffles on the front is bad. It make your big bust look ridiculously large.

I tried to be understanding when the less endowed ladies suggested certain items. I played along and tried them on. In general I think you should never rule out anything until you've tried it on. You really never know. But by the time you are over 30, (cough cough, we don't need to talk about how much over) you should have some sort or general idea on what looks good on you and what doesn't.

I wasn't wrong.

I was however ridiculous. Sorry there will be no photos of my trying on things that I shouldn't have. Although I was fine with having the ladies laugh with me I'm not so confidant as to expose myself to the hundreds (okay dozens) of people that read this blog. Not to mention my Russian followers have very sharp tongues.

One last thing.

I have never been one to buy something based on size. If it fits, great.

This was the first time I wanted to buy a pair of pants just because of the tag. They were too tight, too plaid, and I have absolutely no need for them but they were two sizes smaller than the pants I was wearing.

Two whole sizes!

Apparently despite all my claims to be not normal I have some pretty normal girl moments occasional.

I'm gonna go do something weird to balance this out. Any suggestions?










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