Mother's Day

 Not that I'm not a preschool teacher anymore I want to talk about one of the few things about that job that made me sad.

Mother's day.

You've probably gotten one of those cute question and answer pages filled out by your child's teacher with much prodding to find out what your child thinks your favorite color is and what you like to do with your vast amounts of free time. ♥️ 🤣

We do this same exercise with dads. 

That's the part that makes me sad. 

When asked about dad's favorite things the kids almost always have REAL answers.

Dad's favorite food is steak. He likes watching football and playing golf. Maybe they know your favorite color is red just like the Kansas Cheifs that are of course dad's favorite team.

Maybe it's building things or working on the car or a thousand other answers that the kids KNOW about their dad.

Not Mom though. 

Mom loves watching cartoons and Mac and cheese and her favorite color is blue "just like mine". 

Just because you're a stay at home mom doesn't mean you are not still your own person.

We talk so often about the analogy of putting on your own oxygen mask first. 

Please let your children KNOW you. Let them know the things that make you happy and the things you hate. Let them know you are a fully formed human with wants and needs just like their father.

So many women get lost in motherhood. Help your kids see you as more than just their caretaker. 

Maybe next year that questionnaire can have some much more personal answers. 

my "mouthy" daughter

 The other day at Jiu Jitsu some dads commented on my daughter's "back talk".

"If I'd have talked to my mother like that...."

Now before you jump on them they are good guys, good fathers, but there is a generation thought process that polite girls are good girls.

We don't do that shit in this house.

We care about intent. So while my daughter's words might have sounded harsh on paper in person she said them with a teasing smile and zero venom behind them. 

We don't care about her being polite, quiet, and nice ( PS she is all of those things). We care about her standing up for herself because while those men were good people not all adults are. Some prey on children's misconception that they need to respect ALL adults.

NO.

Earn my kids' respect. You don't have it just because of your age, your status, or anything else.

That is how adults take advantage of kids.

So you do you. But over here we are raising MOUTHY opinionated people who know they can speak up if they are uncomfortable.

I Don't Like Bullies

But then again who does?

So someone I follow posted this on their story and I immediately stole it.

How could I not?

Growing up in the age of social media opens kids up to so much online cruelty. There is so much to deal with that no one has even had to deal with before. I have no advice for online harassment and mean comments. I have no idea how to make it stop or to make them understand that what they are doing is wrong.

What I do have is a lot of free time and a long history of being a sarcastic asshole. So please let me fight your battle for you.


On a serious note. If you need someone to watch your kid's accounts for inappropriate stuff I'll gladly do it. Please also feel free to give them my number. Let them know that I will gladly answer any question they have. Help them with any problems they feel they can't come to you with.

44

In a week I turn 44. I'll be spending my birthday in my house because my options during the time of COVID are limited.

Not that I would normally party till the break of dawn. Not really my speed. No doubt I would have gone out dinner with my family and some friends and ate WAY TOO MUCH.

I can still do that at my house though.

44 isn't a special age by any reasonable gauge.

It's not a milestone like 21 or even 40.

For most people birthday 44 will pass like any other day, but for me, it's a little bit different.

44 is the age my mother died.

44 is the last birthday she celebrated.

When I was younger 44 didn't seem old but it didn't seem as young as it does right now.

When my mother died I had so many questions that I wanted answered. So many things about the way she lived her life that I wanted her to explain. Choices I wanted her to justify.

But I was so young. Everything about her life was foreign to me. I didn't know what it felt like to be a mother. A wife. To have people rely on you.

I always hoped that as I aged and got some life experiences her choices would make more sense. I would be able to see why she was who she was.

Now, sitting on this side of the fence, I still don't understand her. Her choices still confuse me and frustrate me and despite my best effort still make me very angry sometimes. Most of all though this birthday makes me sad.

Sad that this is as far as she got. Not because fate is cruel or because sometimes bad stuff just happens but because she made bad choices. Because she let her demons win.

So while I am sad about the things she missed I am grateful her choices taught me life lessons that a lot of people have to learn themselves the hard way.

Grateful that her choices made me who I am today.

So I'm going to try and live my life to the fullest this year but I might get maudlin sometimes. I might express my undying love for you or confess all kinds of things because life is short. So short and I'm not going to waste it.

Selfies

I take a fair amount of photos of myself.

Not quite 16 year old girl numbers but it is a lot.

That wasn't always the case. 

I hated selfies. I thought they were narcissistic and dumb. People holding the phone up and taking pictures of themselves? Why?  Why not take pictures of the things around you? 

Don't you want pictures of experiences and not yourself?

But here is the thing. When I look at old pictures I don't care about the pretty house or the crazy car. That odd museum or the colorful sunset.

When I look at old pictures all I care about are the people in them.  So in addition to taking selfies, I try and take as many pictures as I can of the people I love. 

SHHHHHHHH

Full disclosure I take pictures of my food too. I mean that is what the internet was invented for. Despite everyone trying to make it a place where you can post your political opinion and try and convince the world that birds are all robots spying on you (a real conspiracy theory).

I try and keep my pictures light and funny and maybe just a little inspirational. But also there are going to be lots of photos of me so my friends can see my face because if they like seeing it half as much as I like seeing theirs it's totally worth it. 

So today, on day 3752 of sheltering in place I encourage you to post a selfie too. I miss your faces. 

Instead of silly math games or a list of the places you lived please post YOU. That's what I miss. I know I can't be the only one.

I take a fair amount of photos of myself.

Not quite 16 year old girl numbers but it is a lot.

That wasn't always the case. 

I hated selfies. I thought they were narcissistic and dumb. People holding the phone up and taking pictures of themselves? Why?  Why not take pictures of the things around you? 

Don't you want pictures of experiences and not yourself?

But here is the thing. When I look at old pictures I don't care about the pretty house or the crazy car. That odd museum or the colorful sunset.

When I look at old pictures all I care about are the people in them.  So in addition to taking selfies, I try and take as many pictures as I can of the people I love. 

SHHHHHHHH

Full disclosure I take pictures of my food too. I mean that is what the internet was invented for. Despite everyone trying to make it a place where you can post your political opinion and try and convince the world that birds are all robots spying on you (a real conspiracy theory).

I try and keep my pictures light and funny and maybe just a little inspirational. But also there are going to be lots of photos of me so my friends can see my face because if they like seeing it half as much as I like seeing theirs it's totally worth it. 

So today, on day 3752 of sheltering in place I encourage you to post a selfie too. I miss your faces. 

Instead of silly math games or a list of the places you lived please post YOU. That's what I miss. I know I can't be the only one.

30 Days of Social Distancing

Most the country is locked down.

Although that is a relative term since you are still able to go out to "essential businesses".

An odd group of stores that only seems to leave out small, local businesses. 

I'm not in charge though and I don't have a degree in medicine or virology or anything that might allow me to help make sense of this.

What I do have is some suggestions to keep you from going insane.

But before I offer them I wanted to talk about me. This is my blog after all so most of the stuff on here is about me.

I post a lot of dumb stuff on my social media. Stuff about my kids, my dog, about how much I love coffee. About all the bruises I get doing all the insane things I do.  None of this is because I think I'm better than anyone or because I want to show you how cool I am.

This is ridiculous. The only difference between me and most people is that one day I got off the couch and decided to try.

That faceless blob behind that adorable kid is me. I am close to 300 pounds in this picture and still pretending that it's because I have big bones. Now I'm not going to start fat-shaming anyone but I am unhealthy is this picture. No doubt I was out of breath chasing after that cute little Dash look alike.

I would stay that way for a few more years before I would finally run out of excuses.

I'm telling you this because you have 30 days.

Imagine what you can change in 30 days? So if some stupid picture I post inspires you I'm glad. That is the whole point. If I can do it you can too.

So use your 30 days wisely. They are going to pass regardless. Will you come out the other side a better you? You just have to get off the couch.

But You Didn't

Do you have talented friends that spend hours working on their craft?

Maybe an artist or a musician. Maybe a photographer or an instructor.

If when they tell you about their talent you respond with "I could probably do that." you need to stop.

Maybe you could have done what they did. Maybe if you devoted the time and energy they did you could be just as good as them but.......


BUT YOU DIDN'T



And when you imply that you could have it's insulting to the time and energy that person has taken to be good at their chosen talent.

So STOP.

Life isnt a competition.

Figure put your passion and start devoting your time to that instead of taking away from others.