I wish I had found this purpose earlier in life but since I don't have a time machine that kind of thinking is useless so instead I'm just going to keep pushing forward.
Keep striving to be better, faster, stronger, HARDER TO KILL.
So no pressure. No guilt. But if you're ready to join me let me know.
Like so many other things the first step is the hardest.
Behold! I am about to have my first old lady rant.
Sure I know I'm not really old. I wasn't fishing for compliments.
Although I also won't stop you from giving them if that is the kind of mood you're in today.
I went to a wedding last month. My youngest brother got married. No blog post about that though because as far as fodder for my crazy it was barren. In other words it was a perfectly lovely wedding with lovely speeches and dancing and smiling, happy people.
There was a guy playing the drums along with the DJ. YES JUST DRUMS. But I was informed by younger people that this is common now. Being out of the wedding circuit I wasn't aware so I guess I will just have to take their word for it.
Jeez!!
That was a serious sidetrack. Although since I was mentioning about how I don't know what the cool kids are doing these day because I'm old it kind of fits with the overall theme right?
Whatever.
In getting ready for the wedding I was trying to figure out what my kids should wear. Obviously Triple S would be wearing a suit. It was a wedding for Pete's sake!!
We aren't SAVAGES!!
I got to talking about clothing and what is appropriate for what. Like job interviews or Broadway shows or Thanksgiving dinner. This all started because some 'kid' (he was probably in his 20's) was teaching a parkour class in jeans. WTF?
Apparently they were special jeans and he could still jump and flip in them, or whatever else you are supposed to do in parkour besides be insane.
But he was still 'interviewing ' for the coaching position. Hence the talk about interviews.
Now obviously this kid shouldn't be wearing a suit but shouldn't he look like he was ready to exercise?
Jeans, no matter what kind of special ones they are, just seemed weird.
Then I started talking about how when we go to a wedding Triple S won't take his jacket off until the groom does. It's protocol or some other such sign of respect.
Pause for me to look this up on the internet. Holy crap that was boring. So I couldn't really find anything beyond Yahoo Answers and that is like checking web MD. Everything ends with Cancer.
Either way Scott has always done this.
I know times change but I guess I just think certain things are important.
Then again people used to dress up to fly and the idea that not only would I be sausaged in a tiny seat with strangers but also forced to wear uncomfortable shoes with them is tantamount to waterboarding. (I've never been waterboarded but I have flown on a FULL flight with a FUCKING chicken!!!)
I guess not all change is bad.
That is the sort of thing that sticks with you, perhaps even haunts you.
Well today I ran the Spartan. Again. You might remember I did this 3 years ago.
I was ready for today. I'm in better shape, stronger and faster.
I'm also OLDER.
shakes an angry fist at father time. MEN!
About two thirds of the way through I scaled a ten foot wall and on the way down I tumbled and.......Well I'll just let this picture explain.
Yup. that is a broken wrist.
So whatever, that happens. People do stupid things and get hurt all the time.
OTHER PEOPLE!! Not me. I'm invincible.
OK maybe not invincible but while I was getting x rayed I had some time to think. I've never had an x ray. At least not one in all the years I've been old enough to remember.
That's crazy.
NEVER had an x ray? That's just a shame because look how pretty my bones are.
SELFISH. Very selfish. So you're welcome. I did this for you.
My kids have been obsessed with age for a long as I can remember. They know better than I do how old Triple S will turn this year and they sure as hell know how old I'm going to be.
SPOILER ALERT it's 40.
In case you didn't figure that out yet.
I'm a bicentennial baby. That's a thing you know. Before there were state quarters there were bicentennial quarters. 1976 In case you didn't want to do the math. The year the country turned 200. Luckily I'm not that old. Or unlucky? Not sure If I'd want to live that long.
Whatever. Back on topic.
40 is the new 30 or 20? I'm not sure. I'm also not sure why I'm supposed to freak out. Sure there are more lines on my face than there were last year and me and hair color aren't just friends anymore. It's more of a codependent relationship. But .....
Wait where was I going with this?
Oh yeah. Who cares.
I have a great life. A husband who supports my craziness. Kids who have never had to be "scared straight" and not one but two jobs I love. Not to mention some of the greatest friends a grown woman could ask for.
That sounds a bit like I'm protesting too much plus there was a distinct lack of sarcasm. Maybe my age is maturing me?
Probably not though since I'm typing this in a Wolverine T-shirt.
So I totally have a plan for this post but every single time I type SOCKS I remember this awesome late night TV infomercial about how easy it was to learn Spanish and part of the awesomeness was that if you spell the word socks out loud you are speaking Spanish. Of course I have no idea what it means but.....
Crap. Now I totally have to stop writing this to search the internet for the video.
I'm back and I couldn't find the infomercial but I did find this and now I know what SOCKS means in Spanish. Yeah! We are learning stuff.
I have no idea why she is drinking. Okay I have some idea but I need to get back to my point.
I vaguely remember I said I had one before I went into some crazy rambling tangent about Spanish Infomercials.
Oh Yeah! Socks.
So let's take a journey back to 1998. I was newly out of Boat College and my job was sending me every where, all over the globe.
My next assignment was in Alaska, in October! That's nice and sunny here in the South but up there it is already getting CHILLY! I was given a nice stipend to suit up. So off to the outdoor store I went.
I got a Carhart suit, some long johns, and those heated hand warmer packs. Sure I had gone skiing in Maine in February and SCUBA diving on Cape Cod in December.
I'd been cold but this seemed like it was going to warrant special equipment.
Oh yeah and one more thing. I got two pairs of socks. (look at me getting back to the point, high five!)
Thorlo extreme cold socks.
They were $15 a pair. Never in my entire life had I bought a pair of socks that cost even close to this. Despite the salesman's promise that they were indeed worth the price I was skeptical. That's a lot of money for a pair of socks!
I bought them though because my toes are always cold. ALWAYS.
Fast forward some large number of years later and I am sitting on my couch typing this wearing the socks.
The color has faded a bit but other than that they are as good as new. There are no worn patches. No sagging elastic. No holes. Nothing is wrong with them. They are seriously the best socks EVER.
Today, here, in the South it is cold and rainy but my toes are nice and toasty.
I love you green socks. May you last another 16 (OMG I'm so old.) years.
I'm still fighting the good fight but I realized why some people are always so frustrated.
This morning on one of those Sunday news shows they were talking about Woodward and Bernstein. After a quick sum up they reminded everyone that All The Presidents Men was based on their experience.
I was annoyed. Is this something that people don't know?
This happens to me a lot because I have A LOT of random stuff in my head that I don't realize is random. Why don't more people know these weird facts?
It's a sign of the times though. That movie was made almost 40 years ago and Watergate was even older than that. (Of course it was Caption Obvious because since we don't have a time machine we can only make movies about things that have happened.)
Don't you just want to wrap that cord around your finger?
All of this follows me having to explain to my son how a rotary phone worked. He acted like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen. I suppose it was in an age when he can't remember not being able to play a game or watch his show wherever and whenever he wants it is a funny concept to have to be attached to an actual cable.
Side Note: With all these advances why don't I have a flying car or a hover board yet?
When I was younger the only 'old' people I knew weren't really that old. In retrospect they were actually pretty young. Certainly not much older than some of my friends are now.
BUT They had old people hair, they dressed like old people, they even smelled like old people.
Now when I say OLD I'm talking not about a specific number but a mindset.
I'm pretty sure most of them weren't over 50 but they acted so old. The TV was too loud. Teenagers were awful. What is with today's music?
side note. TEENAGERS are awful. You aren't old if you think that, you just aren't a teenager.
I hated the idea that one day I was going to be "old" too. One day I was going to just give up and go grey. No more cool shoes. No more exciting movies. No more scandalous jokes. No more anything fun.
I was going to get a Laz-e-boy and watch Matlock (or some other equally boring show) until I died.
They say 40 is the new 30 or 50 is the new 40? I don't know because they change it all the time. Grey is the new black too. Or something like that.
I talk about this now because I have never wanted to grow old. Up? sure. It's cool to be a semi responsible adult because it means I can make my own choices and do my own things. It means I know who I am and don't care what anyone else thinks. (I'm pretty sure this blog is all the proof you need of that.)
Old? No thank you.
I was hoping that as I looked back it wasn't that they were old but that I was so young and couldn't imagine anything past the next morning.
Nope. They are still old. Pictures and memories viewed through more mature eyes (that still don't need glasses!!!!!! WOOOO) can't change the fact that these people chose to get OLD.
Right now though there are a bunch of ladies in my life that are becoming my idols. Ladies who refuse to grow old. Ladies who do and say amazing things. Ladies who get up every morning and tell father time to Buzz Off.
I'm
going to follow their example. I'm not going to get "old". I'm going to
get more awesome with each passing year. Screw you Father time. (My
idols are slightly more polite than I am)
It's summer so most regular TV is on a break. It's the perfect time to drown yourself in an entire TV series. I love Netflix. It is an amazing thing to be able to watch a movie whenever the hell you want.
Remember when I was a kid we had to wait until it came on TV and it would be "modified for content" or butchered for language and worse still it was cut so it would fit on the screen. Remember I'm old and TV screens used to be a different size than movies.
It seems like this should have been fixed a lot sooner but alas we were forced to only see half the movie. Sometimes it wouldn't mater and others it would seems like the cinematography was a big fan of panning back and forth.
WOW. sorry but that was some serious rambling.
Back on topic. I love Netflix but I can't binge watch it. If I know a whole season is available I'll watch 2 or 3 episodes then I will want to cut to the end. This is especially bad if I know Netflix has the entire series.
I'm not saying I wont go back and watch the rest of the show at some point but I just want to cut to the chase.
Hmmm sexual tension between the two main characters on a show that ran for 6 seasons?
You know they aren't getting together till at least season 4 and then they will break up in season 5 and finally end up back together in season 6 to make the fans think everything ends with a happy note.
How about I just cut out all that drama and get to the good part?
Next episode? No thank you. I like to watch them out of order.
Something else to think about is the TIME SUCK that is pinterest I just spent 15 minutes looking for a simple poster of Firefly and instead pinned 4 movie quotes and 3 cross stitch patterns for Jayne's hat. Like I can cross stitch?
