My Kids

When I say I would do anything for my kids.

When I say I will cheer for my kids.

When I say I support my kids no matter what.

When I say I would murder for my kids.

When I say no one will hurt my kids.

I'm not just talking about the ones that call me mom.

If you bring your child to me. If you trust your child to my care. If your kid hugs me when they see me.

These are my kids and I pity the person that ever tries to hurt them.

Mostly because if they are my kids they are going to stand up and do something about it but also because when they are done with you......

Well, we really don't need to go into that do we?

No.

I don't think we do.

My last workout

So I just realized I had my last workout at the gym I have been going to for the last 8 years.

That's kind of sad.        Actually, It's really sad.

You probably know if you read this blog that when the family moved here to North Carolina 9 years ago I was UNHEALTHY. I was working a regular 9-5 job and I was going out to lunch a lot and eating quick food because time was at a premium. I had 2 small kids and a husband that traveled. These aren't excuses. Looking back now I know I just didn't make my health a priority.

Certainly, busy people make time to get to the gym. I wasn't special. Just lazy.

So I got big.

For a while I ignored it. Used my usual excuses "big boned" and the like.

All that changed when we moved though because suddenly I was a stay at home mom with one kid in full-time school and another in preschool.

I had LOTS of free time.

It's hard to say you don't have time to get to the gym when all you have is time.

Or maybe I just hated laundry so much I was willing to start working out again just to not have to fold one more load?

Either way, I joined the gym and started with 20 minutes on the treadmill.

Seriously. I was walking for 20 minutes and I would leave sweaty and gross and I HATED IT. I hated every step because it was hard and it made me angry at myself for getting so damn out of shape.

You see it doesn't happen overnight. It's a thousand bad choices made over and over again.

The crazy part is that is the same way you fix it.

A thousand good choices made over and over again.

My first was the gym. Over and over again, day after day I went from 20 minutes on the treadmill to cardio classes to the weights.

I got faster and stronger and HEALTHIER.

There was the other side too where I stopped sneaking ice cream when the dog would wake me up at 3 am. Yes, a thing I did most nights. Or cookies. Or some other junk.

I starting doing all the things we all know we are supposed to do but don't want to because it's easier to make excuses.

Time passed.

Progress happened, as it does when you put your head down and grind.

Thursday morning I walked into my usually 930 class and for whatever reason, I was the only one.

Just me and the weights and so much sweat.

I was having a hard time with a plate pinch carry. Basically, I was holding two ten-pound weights in each hand pinched between my thumb and four fingers. I was supposed to walk 50 m with them then move on to the next step.

My hands kept slipping. I was getting frustrated. That's when coach said he liked it when I came in first to "test" the workout.

Because I was having a hard time the workout was changed.

I'm the gold standard.


Okay, that's a little ridiculous but remember just a few sentences ago I told you 20 minutes on the treadmill was horrible. Now workouts are being altered base on MY ability to do them.

Sadly though my progress is not what the blog is about.

Remember, I'm leaving my gym.

They have instituted a "no bag" policy like stadiums and concert halls.  While I understand the world we live requires businesses to make changes that they think will keep their customers safe I don't agree this is the way to go. At least not for this business.

What matters is that I can't tell you all about how you should be a sheepdog and how important training is then be in a facility that has ensured that I don't have anything to keep myself safe.

So it's new gym time.

Got to walk the walk. Not just talk the talk.

Lead by example.

At least that is the kind of person I would like to be. Those are certainly the people I look up to.

So I tried out a new gym this morning.

Although "new" Isn't really accurate. I tried it out about a year ago but I wasn't ready to leave the nest. Wasn't ready to start something new, despite the fact that it's like this gym was made for me.

There are punching bags and training guns and heavy weights.

Yes, you read that right.

Did I mention the signs on the walls say things like "hope is not a plan"?

Oh and last but not least membership at this gym gets me access to a private outdoor range where I can practice moving and shooting.

I know. I'm confused as to why I took so long when I knew this was an option.

2 things.

Number 1 is that I LOVE MY PEOPLE. They make the worst workouts better just by their mutual suffering.

Number 2 is that there are no classes. Everything is self-motivated and I seriously questioned whether, when it was up to me, I would actually work hard.

I realize that is insane.

I'm not going to start skipping the gym because I'm going by myself.

Did I forget who I am?

I should know I'm awesome.

So GOODBYE old gym.

GOODBYE awesome workout buddies.

GOODBYE the comfort of things that are KNOWN.

Women and Guns

I posted this on my Facebook page. What followed was a back and forth mired in misunderstanding.

This is what I posted for clarification, it is about as clear as I can be about why I think women and guns are a good thing. 

I don't need you to agree but I'd like it if you understood.

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The main reason I love teaching women to shoot is that guns are the great equalizers.
Especially for women.

I can train every day. (Something I do) but men are inherently stronger and faster. That's genetics.

Don't get me wrong most men don't stand a chance against me but for the ones that do, they might be faster or stronger than me but they are not stronger or faster than a bullet.

I teach that talking and running are always your first options to get out of a bad situation. Before that is NOT being there at all.

But sometimes bad shit happens no matter what steps you take to avoid it and some people can't be reasoned with.

So should the police be by my side when this happens I will let them do their job but as it is more likely that I will be alone (or worse, with my kids) know that I won't hesitate to make sure I am the one that gets to go home tonight.

I don't think like this because I live in a "bad part of town" or because I'm looking for a fight.

I think like this because the world has changed and I can't sit in an ivory tower and pretend it's 1985. Bad people hate me without ever having met me.

If they knock on my door know that I am ready and I am going to help as many people as I can be ready too.

Fear's enemy is preparation

We have the Ring Doorbell. It's cool and I can see who is at the door so I can decide if I actually want to answer it. Also I'm about to have a teenage driver in my house and if he thinks he can sneak out that is NOT going to happen. Or maybe he wants to sneak someone in? Either way, not on my watch.

I mean that's what I use it for but I think other people use it too keep an eye on their property and discourage thieves. If the Ring app is anything to go by it is also used to locate lost dogs, garbage thieves and random ding dong ditch perpetrators.

My daughter likes to scroll through the alerts. She hopes the pups find their owners and laughs at kids running from porches.

We had a quick conversation about why so many people post about cars turning around in driveways and people walking by on the sidewalk.

I explained that people see danger around every corner when they don't know what real danger looks like. So every person that walks by might be a robber casing their house and every car in their driveway might be a team of burglars ready to steal their awesome DVD collection.

It might also be someone who made a wrong turn on their way to a dinner party.

When you aren't prepared you can see darkness in every corner. Danger in every stranger.

The best way to conquer fear is to be prepared.


Are you prepared?


I might know a good place to start if you need help.

Sheepdog Response

Mama Bear VS Sheepdog Mom

Moms want what's best for their kids. They want them safe to grow up and flourish. Live a better life than their parents. And when things don't go their way those same mom's, who cut the crusts off sandwiches and make homemade Halloween costumes, turn into fierce and dangerous Momma Bears.

The problem is that Momma Bear's claws and teeth aren't real. All roar and no bite.

Don't get me wrong lots of things in this world can be fixed with words and a strong backbone.

Momma Bears aren't a bad thing.

But there is something better. An option that does have teeth. An option that has claws and knows how to use them.

The world is complicated and sometimes the ability to defend yourself and those you love most is required.

Bears cannot be relied upon to attack when needed. Bears aren't Man's best friend.

That place of honor is held by the dog. (I don't want to hear about cats. That's crazy talk.)

So I don't want to be a Momma Bear I want to be a Sheepdog Mom.

I want to be your friend. I want to make you feel safe. But never for a moment doubt that if needed I have teeth and claws and I will use them to protect what's most important to me.

I know that in order to be a sheepdog I must first acknowledge that there are things in this world that are evil.  They are rare but they are still out there. At first, it's scary admitting there are things in the world that want to hurt you. But once you start to learn to be aware you realize you can avoid them.

It's liberating to know there isn't much you can't handle.

So who wants to be a sheepdog instead of a momma bear?

My favorite people have a sale going on right now. 

You know I have a favorite group and they want Mom's safe to so they have a discount code.

They have15% off the entire site now through Mother’s Day with code: SDRMOM

Another 365 days on this earth.

Next week I turn 43.

Forty-Three Years Old.

I should FEEL old. I should be slowing down right? Finding a nice relaxing hobby like knitting or fast mall walking. Maybe wear a lot more velour.

All of these are solid options.

FUCK THAT.

In the last month, I got to fight Tim Kennedy, I competed in a Crossfit competition and I signed up for the Ranger Up Grappling Tournament.

I have no plans to slow down. 

No plans to "go easy".

I wish I had found this purpose earlier in life but since I don't have a time machine that kind of thinking is useless so instead I'm just going to keep pushing forward. 

Keep striving to be better, faster, stronger, HARDER TO KILL.

So no pressure. No guilt. But if you're ready to join me let me know.

Like so many other things the first step is the hardest.

Sheepdog Training Part Deux

           From the day I finished the level one course I wanted more. I would have stayed forever just repeating the training over and over again if they would have let me in the most perfect version of Groundhog Day ever!!!

So when the amazing people at Sheepdog Response announced a level 2 class I was thrilled.

But before we get to how awesome the course was lets start at the end.

The moment three days of training is over and you feel a pit form in your stomach because although you are tired and sore you don't want to leave.

Surviving a difficult journey with a group of people forms a bond.

When you add to that the fact that we were all there with the same goal in mind it can be hard to walk away.

Then there are the instructors who so clearly have an intense desire to share their insane amount of knowledge.

I joked with another student about how we wanted this to be our life now. Wake up and train Self-defense, eat lunch then train weapons and Psy ops (is that what it's called?).

Like a real-life spy movie only better because I was the star.

It's hard to walk away from that unchanged.

When I went to the first class I already had a desire to be HARD TO KILL but I was unfocused and unsure about if what I was doing was enough or even the right thing.

I was so happy to realize I was doing exactly what I should be. Plus I got all kinds of tips for what needed more work. What I could be doing better.

I came back with a fire in my belly. With a renewed commitment to being the most badass mom on the block.

More than that though I realized there are a whole group of people who feel the same way.

A TRIBE.

That's the current vernacular.   That's what the kids call it.

Whatever you call it though that isn't the point.

The point is having people who understand what drives you and help you reach your goals. People who push you and offer advice to be better. People who understand your priorities.


I could write a 47 page paper about how much better I got in just three days of training, of what it feels likes to have some of the most deadly people on the planet compliment some tiny aspect of what you are doing.

Imagine Beyonce said you had a pretty singing voice?

Imagine Tom Brady said you had a good spiral?

These instructors are the BEST at what they do and they want to share that knowledge with you.

More than that though they want to help people.


Talking at the end of class with Tim Kennedy about what he was doing in the coming weeks he joked about going on a speaking tour to "make money" before he deployed again.  I countered with some comment about Sheepdog not making him a millionaire yet and we laughed. I could well imagine that between range time and travel, not to mention paying all the amazing instructors there probably wasn't much left over at the end of the day.

His response was so telling of a man that just wants to help make the world safer one person at a time.

"This is for my soul."

Think about that for a minute.   He is sharing his time and knowledge with as many people as he can because he genuinely cares. I guarantee if pressed the rest of the instructors would have a similar reason for being there.

Find people like this. Find them and learn from them.
Don't let anything get in your way. Don't let anyone tell you that you are too anything to give up on something important to you.

Side Note:
If you are reading this and you have questions or want to know more about this amazing group just ask. I will gladly tell you just how awesome I think they are and why you should take a class with them.

Never Quit

I attended Sheepdog Response's level 2 class this past weekend.

I'm working on a long post about how awesome it was but this is going to be short and sweet.

It was hard. Taxing both physically and mentally. What was amazing was how I felt physically.

Thinking back to a few years ago when a day at the zoo would leave me tired and achy. To a day when I would always chose the elevator/escalator/moving sidewalk over walking.

We did 3 days of almost 5 hours of hard physical work and I never got tired. Sure my heart rate went up and I was sweaty and breathing heavy but I never thought about how happy I would be when it was over.  I never looked at the clock counting the minutes till our next break.

Progress is SLOW and sometimes you feel like you aren't making any but don't quit.

If I can do this. You sure as shit can too.

On the Path to becoming a Sheepdog

One of the greatest things people say to me is that they are safe when they are with me.


SAFE.


In a world where scary things happen to good people, they feel safe with me.

That is a compliment I don't take lightly.


So what does a married mother of two kids do to earn that?

I'm not special forces. I wasn't a SEAL. I didn't take ninja training at age 4. I was just a regular person doing regular things until a few years ago.

It started with a thought.

My kids trusted me to keep them safe when they were little. Most kids do. They call you when they wake up from a nightmare. They ask you to check the closet before bed. They hold your hand when they are unsure.

You are their hero. 

Their protector. Larger than life and invincible.

I wondered how long would that last? How long until they realized I was just a regular mom?

How long before they realized my yelling wasn't going to stop the very real dangers of the world?

There were really only two options. 

1. Wait for that inevitable day with trepidation and fear.

2. Make sure that day never comes.

When you see it laid out like that it isn't hard to go with choice 2.

This mama bear was going to have more than mean looks to offer should anyone try and hurt my people.

So cool. The decision is made. Get some claws and teeth.  (Metaphorically of course.)

SHIT.  Where does one even start to do that? How do I become the person that keeps others safe? If you're young enough there are some very obvious choices. Military, Police, Fire.

Although even if you are young that is more a general thing. Keeping everyone safe. Maybe you don't hear that call to be a protector of the masses. Maybe, like me, it was just those little ones that lived in the same house as you that you wanted to protect.

It being the digital age everyone's first step is the internet. Maybe you can ask Alexa?  I can only imagine that the results are more information than one person can sort through. So let's not talk about generalities. Let's talk specifics. Let's use me as a case study.

Step one.
I was not in good shape by any definition. I had spent the last ten years sitting at a desk making excuses about my "big bones" and other bullshit. I doubted I could run away from danger nevermind do anything to stop it.

So I joined a gym. It sucked. I could barely stand 20 minutes on the treadmill. I would leave a sweaty discouraged mess but I reminded myself that it didn't take 10 minutes to gain the weight and it wasn't going to take 10 minutes to lose it. Slowly, and while I was just continuing to go, changes happened.
I started taking classes and then I found weights.

Side note. I DEADLIFTED 308 POUNDS the other day. I don't say this to brag. I'm pretty sure the first time I tried deadlifting anything I was happy to break 100 pounds. Just like everything else it takes time. BUT also HELL YES!!!  #308

Step two.
I found an awesome martial arts program based on self-defense. No fancy spin kicks. Those are for stunts and the Olympics.  I wanted efficiency not flashy.

We started training in real-world scenarios right away. Things that were likely to affect my life. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF THE HARD WORK. I loved the training partners that left me bruised and tired, the confidence I felt when we left at the end of the night.

Step three.
Get a concealed carry permit. One class wasn't enough though. Were you a good driver after drivers ed? HELL NO. You had a basic understanding. It took years to feel comfortable. I got my ass to the range. I took classes. I PRACTICED.

As time passed I started to feel like that dreaded day when the world would make my kids feel unsafe with me might not come but I wanted more.  I wanted to be sure I was doing everything I could to be hard to kill.

It's not like I was really worried about anything happening.

We live in a safe place. We lead a regular life. We don't take unnecessary risks.

Sadly though that doesn't keep you safe. The world is changing. Or maybe it's always been this way and we are just now paying attention enough to notice? That's a debate for people a lot smarter than me.

I wasn't preparing for the inevitable I was preparing for something I hoped would never come. That's a hard concept to grasp. Why put so much effort into a thing that is probably not going to happen anyway?

Because if it does I'm going to make sure my people are protected. So if you feel safe with me it's because you ARE.

I seek out and try anything and everything I think will give me an advantage.  I am part of a growing group of people that want to protect. That want to feel safe.

SHEEPDOGS.

Maybe you've heard the adage before.





Doesn't matter what you call it.



In a few weeks, I will go to Texas to train with some like-minded people. I will make sure that I am learning everything I can from the most qualified people to make sure you always feel safe with me.




If you read this and your first thought was you want to join me then I'm going to save you the internet searches and missteps that lead to bad youtube videos.

JOIN ME


I'm serious! Sheepdog response is the best first step you can take.





So full disclosure. These amazing people have chosen to let me help them in their mission. I get to sing their praises and tell you all the reasons you should take a class. I know. That seems insane to me too but until they come to their senses I'm going to see how much good I can do.




Questions? Seriously ask me anything and I will do my best to send you in the right direction.