My Kids

When I say I would do anything for my kids.

When I say I will cheer for my kids.

When I say I support my kids no matter what.

When I say I would murder for my kids.

When I say no one will hurt my kids.

I'm not just talking about the ones that call me mom.

If you bring your child to me. If you trust your child to my care. If your kid hugs me when they see me.

These are my kids and I pity the person that ever tries to hurt them.

Mostly because if they are my kids they are going to stand up and do something about it but also because when they are done with you......

Well, we really don't need to go into that do we?

No.

I don't think we do.

100 miles

This isn't a post about that Proclaimers song.

Not sure what is more upsetting. 1) that by typing that, the song is now stuck in my head or 2) that I knew the Proclaimers sang it without having to look it up? It's a toss up really.

Whatever.

Have you ever run?

Not from something or because you were late but for FUN? Weird right?

Apparently people do it all the time. 5ks, half marathons, full marathons. There is actually a race that is 100 miles long.

Yes you read that right. A nice jog that can take you 24 hours to complete. Doesn't that sound like FUN? Seriously FUN right?

Obviously I'm not going to be doing that.

This weekend though someone I know did.

I'll give you a second to wrap your brain around that. 24 hours of running.

So I signed up to get text notifications of their progress. Cool right? I thought so too but because that would be a lame blog post I've decided to juxtapose my day to their progress.

By the time I was brushing my teeth they had already run 12 and a half miles and while brushing my teeth was hard, It's possible they were working harder. Possible.

Almost 1000 am and I've already taught a bunch of small children how to be ninjas and don't forget where I brushed my teeth. Ate some breakfast and drank some coffee too.

Now it's my turn to exercise. Sure they have already run 25 miles but I'm going to run in a tiny circle for like ten whole minutes.

I needed a break after all that running so I took the kids to Dunkin Donuts. Remember I ran for ten minutes. Plus there was the ninja training and the teeth brushing. It's been a long day.

Pretty sure they have run farther than all the driving I've done so far today. Whatever. I ran for ten minutes.

Okay time for some pinterest level crafting. I took apart this dresser and refinished it.

Still running?  Yup Still running.

Pretty sure I'm being more productive.

Next project is a flower box. I carried those 4x6 pieces of arsenic treated wood with my bare hands after I cut them. Yeah. There was shoveling too and some other stuff but I don't remember.

50 miles? that's not possible right? Surely the little GPS tracker has been attached to a migrating deer or a CAR!!

Paint's dry. Luckily I had time for a quick trip to Lowes to get some shiny new hardware. Better get these attached so that I can get dinner started.

Children have been fed and are upstairs quietly. Time to chill. Morris Chesnut is uber charming on this show.

Does that say 62 miles? That's almost 3 back to back marathons.

It's at this point that I start texting a mutual friend about the insanity that is the fact that this person has been running since 6 am!!!!

Did you know I have a movie room? Yeah Triple S built it for me and obviously it is the only place to watch Transporter 3 with my children. It was hard staying awake but I made it.

Bed Time. I'm super tired. I've had a busy day.

So I shut off my text alerts because sleep is precious to me. Plus I was really tired thanks to my super busy day. It felt like I had run a metaphorical marathon and while that isn't as impressive as literally running 4 marathons it's still impressive.

When I woke up I saw that I had missed a few texts. I did have a great dream about marshmallow shoes though so.....

Basically our days were pretty equal as far as energy expenditures.



Seriously though 100 miles. 100 miles. I cannot even fathom this. Not even in the zombie apocalypse. Not even if after I finished RDJ was waiting for me to take me to my trailer for my starring role in Avengers:Infinity Wars. There is no scenario I can come up with that makes this a good idea.

To everyone who ran and actually finished you people are freaking superheroes.

I Need a Child Psychologist. STAT!

No not because I act like a crazy child.

You guys are not very supportive. Seriously I try and blog and all I get is grief.

Just kidding. You guys are the best.

So It's year three of my adventure as a preschool teacher. Once again I have lucked out in the student department. I have kids that are sweet and listen (well, listen as well as anyone can expect a group of four years olds). They try new snacks without complaining and know how to make one hell of a collage with glitter and pipe cleaners. Seriously Picasso would be jealous.

Basically they are tiny awesome humans.

EXCEPT for one thing,

When they all sit down I ask them a question in the negative form or the affirmative.

Examples:

Raise your hand if you DON'T like grapes.

or 

Raise your hands if you Do like grapes.

Either way they all raise their hands. Not because they all do or don't like grapes but because they are insane. Or at least that is my conclusion but I'm not a child Psychologist. Hence the title of today's blog.

Do they not get the concept of a the need for only some of them to answer?

You know what? I'm going to let it slide. Trying to figure out how the mind of a 4 year old works seems a bit futile plus they are raising their hands and not calling out. I'm counting that as a win.

Yeah me!

Preschool: year 3

So I'm a preschool teacher. I've mentioned that before. Last year I managed to avoid the sophomore slump and get the loudest cheers at graduation.

This year though, I was worried about criers. 

I love 4 year olds. They are smart and funny and fun and we play with crayons and play dough and dress up. There are swings and slides and nature walks. It's basically the coolest job ever. Plus I get to indulge in my superhero t shirt obsession. 

The problem is that none of that fun stuff can happen until they get to know me and not miss their moms so much. 

Sometimes that takes a few minutes and sometimes it takes a few days. For the littler guys it can take weeks. Although it feels much longer when they won't stop crying. Poor babies.

This year my new kiddos walked right in and got down to the business of having fun. No tears. No crying. Nothing but smiles. It was epic.

I'm hoping it was a sign of how our year together is going to go and not a "things can only get worse" situation.

Sophomore Scream

Year 2 of teaching preschool is in the bag and I don't mean to brag but I did pretty good. I avoided the sophomore slump nicely.

Fact: My parents cheered the loudest at the graduation ceremony. (I didn't even have to pay them)

Opinion: My kids were the greatest. (although the other kids were pretty awesome too.)

Fact: Without my trusty side kick Robin I wouldn't be able to be so awesome.

Opinion: I'm pretty good at this. (At least I hope I am.)

So let the summer begin. It's time to get my tan on. (PS Remember sunblock is your friend!)

Before I let my brain cook in the Southern sun I want to remind you of a few things.


1. Glitter is like the sand of crafting. It gets everywhere and no matter how hard you try there is always a little more.

2. Hugs from small children are great. Even better are hugs that come with sweet words.

3. You can build up a tolerance to snot. Not something I wanted to learn.

4. I've never met a child that didn't like goldfish crackers.

5. Coloring with crayons is very calming.

6. Pretty band-aids are the cause of more injuries than old benches.

7. If you bring me a cup of coffee I can be swayed to do, or forgive, just about anything. Bubbly water also works.

So have a fun summer kids and if you remember only one thing from my class make sure it's that being yourself and being weird is better than normal everyday of the week.

Tales from The Preschool

In the past I have talked about being a teacher and all the funny stuff, I mean all the educational stuff we do.

Remember when I taught the kids to keep "one hand for the ship."? Epic.

This week my success is measured in the words of one of my sweet students.

Student: (hand raised) "Miss Ronnie, I have a statement."

Yeah! A five year old said that.

He said that because when we are all gathered round in the morning to talk about the letters, shapes, colors, the calender, the weather, dogs and daughters, (no big whoop) and who is going to Hilton Head that weekend a lot of hands interrupt my knowledge imparting.

Now I'm totally cool with questions (even off topic ones that involve why Miss Ronnie wears so many Batman shirts) but I'm not a fan of random stories.

How cruel. They are just little kids. Let them share their joy.

Chill! I totally let them share, sometimes overshare, just not during 'circle time'. That's what people in the know call it.

I ask them if they have a question; something that needs an answer from me. Or a statement; a story they just want to tell the class.

Question or statement. BIG DIFFERENCE.

They say you have to repeat something like a thousand times before a child gets it. (that's science!) I thought I was only in the 900's but I guess I lost count somewhere or this little boy is just a child prodigy the likes of a Doogie Howser.

So yeah I was walking a little taller today.

Epic Teaching

The awesomest thing ever happened this week at work!

AWESOME I TELL YOU.

Please tell us what it is? We need to know.

Shhhhhhh. Be patient my pretties. All is due time.

We need to know. 

I'm going to tell you, golly. Just CHILL. (Did I just type 'golly'? I need to get out more.)

So as you might remember I teach preschool now. I'm entering my sophomore year and trying to avoid the slump. Testing out new songs and new crafts. I'm going to keep it fresh and make sure those kids love learning.

I do this by being silly and ridiculous. Also by mixing in bits and pieces of my old life.

Everyday we head up the stairs to enjoy the playground and some running around. Little kids are especially fond of this time of day and they have a tendency to rush up said stairs.

We remind them over and over again to go slow and hold the railing.

Yesterday after another round of repetition the tiniest of my charges piped up "One hand for the ship."

Now if you know what that means you are my kind of people.

If not.......

Ships pitch and roll. They aren't the stablest of platforms so when you are new the saltier souls remind you "one hand for the ship". It means you should always have a free hand in case you need to grab on to a railing quickly. I have borrowed this phrase to remind the kids to hold the railing when we are heading up the stairs.

It's going to get rough. You might want to hold on.

Told you it was EPIC!

My Last Day.

I was going to call this I Survived but apparently I already said that when I was talking about that Crazy Race and that isn't what I'm talking about now.

Now I'm talking about Preschool.

Today was the last day for my little ones.

Tomorrow night they graduate, then they will spend the summer making their parents insane before they head off to kindergarten.

I've learned a few things along the way and I wanted to share them with you in case anyone ever offers you a group of young minds to mold. I mean teach. I totally meant teach. Not mold. That would be weird.

1. Stockpiling is a necessity when it comes to red paint and glue sticks. Hoard them like they are the only weapon that will work against the zombies.

2. Snot is sticky. You might already know this but it needs repeating.

3. Whining is contagious like Ebola. You need to stop it at patient zero or it can turn into an epidemic.

4. Structure is great but you need to go with the flow sometimes and that might mean your perfectly cut craft turns into a fairy unicorn instead of the horse and carriage you found on pintrest.

5. Kids can be frustrating beyond words.

6. Kids can be insanely funny, sweet, kind and insightful.

7. Yesterday was the most exciting day ever. Or it's hard for four year olds to grasp the concept of time.

 8. Mom's cry over their babies big moments. Some times it's my fault, some times it's not. Either way you have to comfort them.

9. Adding dots to letters is fancy. 

Now I don't remember anything about being in Preschool personally. I know it was in a church in Queens but I don't remember any classmates or teachers. I don't remember what color the walls were or what songs we sang at circle time.

I'm not so vain as to think I have somehow changed their lives but I hope I gave them a good start so that one day when they meet that teacher that they remember forever it's for all the right reasons.

For me it was Mrs. Hall. She taught 3rd grade and I remember sitting in her class and learning how to fold an origami swan. I know she taught me about the states and multiplication and a thousand other things but that one moment I remember like it was yesterday.

If you've ever sat in a boring meeting with me than you know I can still do it. I can still fold that perfect swan 30 years later.