Monday, December 22, 2014

The First Gift of Christmas

So I had a Christmas party with my best ladies the other day (husbands too although not Triple S as he is stuck on the boat.). Last year we did an ornament exchange and that went great but this year we did a Secret Santa instead.

At a girls weekend away we picked names and set a limit. Then we started the shopping.

I'm not going to go into details because who cares? This blog is about me me me.

So lets talk about my gifts.

If you know me in person or from the Internet you know that this mug made me happy. Obviously it's perfect for me and my super nerdiness. PS the TARDIS disappears and reappears on the other side when you add hot coffee.

Sure I suppose it would work for tea too but despite my love of British TV that isn't about to happen. Coffee is my life blood.

It gets better though.
First, it's a bit weird that my BBC mug was made in Brooklyn but I'm not judging.

Second, not cool that I can't put it in the dishwasher but I'll survive I guess.

Third, and the best part, "For best results, use other side."

I hate stupid safety warnings.  "Careful, Coffee may be hot"? Do you really need this warning? Do we need instructions on Pop Tarts? How about warnings that razors are sharp? I try not to think too hard about the people who need these labels.

That is why when something is obnoxious like this it makes me happy.

There are whole websites dedicated to this.

Check Them Out.

In the mean time I'm going to turn my mug over and fill is it with delicious HOT coffee and watch my TARDIS time travel.... Or, I guess It will really only be space traveling? Either way it's cool.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

On Christmas I Crush Things

Tonight was my Preschool Christmas Program. (Should all the words be capitalized?)

Eh. Whatever.

The sweet little ones were all dressed up. There were wise men and sheep and camels and an angel and there was even a donkey named Clyde. It was all very "awww".

Moms, Dads, Grandparents, Siblings and random other extended family all thought it was a great show. I have to agree, not to mention knowing this is the last time I have to sing  "must be Santa" this year makes me positively giddy.

Back on point!!!

So normally while I am at preschool I wear Batman t-shirts and assorted other nerd stuff. I pair that with sneakers or flats, sometimes flip flops. Basically I am not a fancy person.

Who can blame me. A smear of snot or a handful of paint are always close at hand. Plus I really love Batman and I like to pretend that the reason I own 5 Batman shirts is because I teach preschool.

Tonight was different though. All the little ones were in their Christmas finest and I needed to step up my game. So I wore heels. This is always cause for comment because of the aforementioned Batman obsession but there was a time when I wore heels more often then not. I can even run in them if necessary although I don't recommend it.

So after I pointed out to all my awesome coworkers* that it wasn't a big deal I crushed a stool and nearly face planted onto the stage.

Yeah you read that right!

While walking onto the stage after the little angels were done to ensue none of them took a header into the audience (no stage diving allowed) I crushed a plastic stool with my heel and caused the audience to gasp.

This is the offending item. According to the Home Depot website it is rated to 325 lbs. LIARS!

I did get a high five from one of the Dads for my recovery so I'm still counting tonight as a win for me.

*Normally it would be safe to assume this was sarcasm but just this once you would be wrong. They really are AWESOME.)

Monday, December 8, 2014


So I totally have a plan for this post but every single time I type SOCKS I remember this awesome late night TV infomercial about how easy it was to learn Spanish and part of the awesomeness was that if you spell the word socks out loud you are speaking Spanish. Of course I have no idea what it means but.....

Crap. Now I totally have to stop writing this to search the internet for the video.

I'm back and I couldn't find the infomercial but I did find this and now I know what SOCKS means in Spanish. Yeah! We are learning stuff.

I have no idea why she is drinking. Okay I have some idea but I need to get back to my point.

I vaguely remember I said I had one before I went into some crazy rambling tangent about Spanish Infomercials.

Oh Yeah! Socks.

So let's take a journey back to 1998. I was newly out of Boat College and my job was sending me every where, all over the globe.

My next assignment was in Alaska, in October! That's nice and sunny here in the South but up there it is already getting CHILLY! I was given a nice stipend to suit up. So off to the outdoor store I went.

I got a Carhart suit, some long johns, and those heated hand warmer packs. Sure I had gone skiing in Maine in February and SCUBA diving on Cape Cod in December.

I'd been cold but this seemed like it was going to warrant special equipment.

Oh yeah and one more thing. I got two pairs of socks. (look at me getting back to the point, high five!)

Thorlo extreme cold socks.

They were $15 a pair. Never in my entire life had I bought a pair of socks that cost even close to this. Despite the salesman's promise that they were indeed worth the price I was skeptical. That's a lot of money for a pair of socks!

I bought them though because my toes are always cold. ALWAYS.

Fast forward some large number of years later and I am sitting on my couch typing this wearing the socks.

The color has faded a bit but other than that they are as good as new. There are no worn patches. No sagging elastic. No holes. Nothing is wrong with them. They are seriously the best socks EVER. 

Today, here, in the South it is cold and rainy but my toes are nice and toasty.

I love you green socks. May you last another 16 (OMG I'm so old.) years.

my "mouthy" daughter

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