Thursday, April 24, 2014

Ninja Resume

If you aren't already concerned for me you might want to rethink your stance.

I just spent the last hour getting out of a choke hold and a head lock.

Then I closed my eyes and waited to be attacked.

-Did you call the police?


-Why the hell not?

Because I paid for that.

-You might want to reread 50 Shades of Grey. You are confused about "rough play".

What? No! I paid because I just got out of Krav Maga class.

What is Krav Maga you say? 

AWESOMESAUSE that's what.
This is called a "facehug" I think. I haven't learned it yet.

Okay so maybe fighting some guy isn't your idea of a great Tuesday night but I think I have mentioned before that I'm not normal.

Since we moved to the South I feel like I am only adding to my Ninja Resume and not my real one. (That is a real thing. You don't know about it because the first rule of a Ninja Resume is.... Well you know.)

That's cool though because since I can't grow anything or operate on anyone I am going to need some marketable skills when civilization collapses and I guess protection is as good a racket as any other.

Remember the Bear? I guess I'm already building up a loyal customer base.

So if you need to go somewhere and pick up cabinets you bought from a guy on craigslist let me know. I'll go with you just in case.

On a serious note. Krav Maga is excellent for anyone looking for some self defense. Especially you ladies. It doesn't hurt to know how to defend yourself.

my "mouthy" daughter

 The other day at Jiu Jitsu some dads commented on my daughter's "back talk". "If I'd have talked to my mother like t...