Monday, November 19, 2012

I walk with Danger!

This sounds like it's going to be be about a lifetime movie.

It's not.

It's going to be about situational awareness. Which now that I type it sounds really boring.

Trust me it's not boring.

It's awesome, like everything else on this blog. As awesome as New York City's Fourth of July Fireworks.

Crazy amazing!

Alright maybe I'm over hyping this?

I mean I don't want you getting all excited and then I just tell you some ridiculous story about socks or tire pressure. (those were both options BTW)

Lets start over.

This post is the perfect amount of awesome. Not too much and not too little. Are you ready now?

Last night I went to the gym for a late night class. When I walked inside my car was the last one in the farthest row in a crowded parking lot.

When class was over my little blue car sat all alone in a poorly lit corner. It was just like a scene in a movie. Where it suddenly feels like your car is a thousand miles away and there are wolves howling in the background and noises that you aren't sure are coming from in front of you or behind.

I wasn't paying attention but I'm still pretty sure that wasn't any dead bodies?

Wait, SHHHH, is that footsteps.

hahhahahah Just kidding. I'm not some normal girl.

I tucked my keys into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone, texting a friend about a possible lunch date. I didn't look over my shoulder or pay attention to my surroundings. I didn't look for suspicious vehicles. I didn't keep my keys in my hand ready to use as a weapon.

I probably should do all those things. You should, for sure.

When I finally got to my car I pulled out my keys unlocked it and got behind the wheel. For the first time since I had walked out of the building I thought about all the horrible possibilities. Of all the BAD things that could have happened.

So this post is really a public service announcement for all you normals out there who can't call on your crazy strength. (think beer muscles). Be careful in parking lots. Walk in pairs. Be aware of your suroundings.

Or forget all that and live on the edge. It's cool and I highly recommend it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

This is NOT a Political Post

I repeat! NOT a political post.

My kids are awesome.

I might have mentioned this before, and yes I realize I am slightly biased but that doesn't change their aweseomness.

You might have noticed earlier this month it was election day. Between the robo calls, nasty commercials, debates, recap, speeches, fundraisers, stumping (still not sure what that means), baby kissing, finger pointing, pundit screaming.....

Sorry. I got caught up for a moment.

So unless you live in a bomb shelter or the dark ages (no I don't mean you NY and NJ) you know election day is a big day for politicians.

I won't tell you how I voted or why because this is NOT a political post. I might have mentioned that already. I will talk about my kids now.

Between my preschoolers on Monday and my daughters kindergarten class on Tuesday I got to hear some colorful descriptions of the two gentlemen running for the white house.

Side note: Please remember even when you think your kids aren't paying attention they hear everything you say. I'm not kidding. EVERYTHING!

Triple S and I try and keep our angry discourse down to a minimum around tiny ears. Not because we are awesome parents or because we are smart and all knowing. Although that would be great.

Nope. We don't talk politics because, although we usually agree on most subjects, my language can get pretty colorful. Think sailors or truck drivers. Sometimes I even use sci-fi bad words and combine others to increase their potency. It's a problem.

Side note: This is also the reason I don't watch reality TV. Too much yelling at the TV. Stupidity brings out some serious rage in me. Singing shows being the only exception.

This is Photoshopped so no reason to call PETA please.

Back on topic. My kids had no real preconceived notions about who would be a better choice for the job so among their deciding criteria were looks (they're kids, don't judge them), experience, mistakes, and pet choices.

Needless to say the two of them had some heated debates.

In the end there were siblings divided. Only one woke up happy the next day.

Well until I announced it was toaster strudel for breakfast. Then everyone was smiles again.

So here's hoping if you woke up unhappy because of the results that something as simple as a frozen breakfast treat can still make you smile.

Plus this is AMERICA. You don't see anybody trying to sneak into Russia do you? Well unless it's to rescue their kidnapped daughter /wife/ x CIA partner and we all know that unless you have a number of high caliber, fully automatic weapons that is a no fun trip.
You can seriously find anything on the Internet. It's AWESOME. (I love that word.)

my "mouthy" daughter

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