Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Hospital Beds are Lumpy!

Now that I have your attention.

It's been a fun filled few days.

What started as a tummy bug and a missed day of school ended with a missing body part.

Got you sitting on the edge of your seat?

Worried that one of us is going to need to learn to eat with our toes? (PS if it was me, I totally could)

Concerned that there was some sort of Tug Boat accident?

Muhaha (that's how you type an evil laugh. Seriously. Say it a few times and rub your hands together. Or pet a Persian cat if you have one handy. An eye patch is always a nice touch.)

OK, alright. I'll stop dragging this out!


She is rocking that cap.

Not sure why that is a big deal since every thing I can find online (thank you Internet) says it's a useless body part anyway. Too bad we are never going to be able to sell her as "mint" or "all original parts". Small price to pay for yet another interesting story about the Douglas Family.

First a few things I would like to yell about in no particular order.

1) Thanks but I know you can't get an IV wet. She held her arm out of the shower. It's not like it was a large stall. Pretty sure her arm would have stayed dry no matter what.
Doesn't really look sick does she?

2) Call the guy! Call him after your second try. Not your third or I'm going to get all mama bear on you. You know the guy I'm talking about. The one they call when the regular nurse can't figure out where your veins are but insists on stabbing you over and over.

3) You don't validate parking? WTF hospital? Seriously not a cool move at all. What charging rates that would made a 5 star hotel blush isn't enough? You have to get another 10$ out of me?
Seriously she has appendicitis. I'm not kidding.

4) To the x-ray tech who got my Bruce Banner Gamma radiation remarks after he explained to me why they don't like to do CAT scans on kids unless they have to I say thank you! You are awesome. Although if Natalie did turn into the Hulk that would be pretty cool too.

5) Also I'm sorry to all the random people who encounter me on a regular basis and have to try and figure out if I'm serious or not.  (Shhhhh I'll give you a hint. I'm usually not) Yes you are about to operate of my sweet baby and sure most moms probably get nervous and teary eyed. I'm not normal so sorry about joking about ruining her ability to wear a bikini.

So I could write a play by play of what went down but Triple S already did that and although he wasn't there he is pretty accurate. No more or less than your typical history text book.

So happy Wednesday. Or is it Tuesday? It so hard to keep track of this crap!
this is AFTER surgery.

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