Saturday, August 30, 2014

Could You Recognize Your Spouse's Dismembered Body?

This was the conversation Triple S and I had yesterday. It started simple enough. (As it usually does.)

I was pointing out to him that I had a birth mark on my leg. You know just in case I'm involved in a horrible accident and dental records and fingerprint aren't a viable identification method.

He told me that he was going to make a mental note although he couldn't make any promises. He further posited that he didn't think it was likely that he would be able to recognize his own severed limb.

Say out of a lineup of 5 severed legs. Because that is a likely scenario.

That is when I suggested we get identifying tattoos. Like code numbers on each limb.

Suspicious detective: "Ma'am we found a leg in the harbor. We need you to confirm it's your husbands."

Me: "Arm or Leg?"

Suspicious detective: "Leg."

Me: "Left or right?"

Suspicious detective: "Left."

Me: "Does it have a 7 on it?"

Suspicious detective: "No it has an 11."

Me: "Then that can't be my husband."

You see Triple S thought my idea was so genius that it was likely someone else would have come to the same conclusion. Therefore we would have to be very clever about what we chose so as no to have repeated numbers. It would suck to bury someone else's husband's arm when my own husband's arm was still out there somewhere.
You really can find anything and everything on the internet. It is equal parts awesome and terrifying.

sidebar: Why does spellcheck keep telling me "else's" isn't a word. It totally is right?


  1. Funny, the Husband and I have the same types of conversations and, like yours, they always start simply enough and then morph.

    My first thought was that else's isn't a word. But, according to a quick Google search - if it is being used to refer to something that belongs to someone else then it is correct. Or, as one of my middle school English teachers said, "If it doesn't sound right, then it probably is."

  2. BWAH HA HA HA!! Off to study our hubby's limbs more closely!-The Dose Girls


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