Two for Tuesday

It's Tuesday. Woot Woot!

Don't let the title fool you. I'm only posting once. This is a blog. Not some hack radio show.

Although it would be cool, in an ironic sort of way, if I started using radio gags.

We could get the Led out. I could pretend that little voice in my head is the hole.

Wait this idea has potential. hmmmmm...

Okay I had to sensor my inner conversation that followed this because if there was a hole she would have walked out in a huff and demanded therapy be provided for her at my expense. And I just can't afford that, not to mention the horrible precedent it would set.

Never mind. Lets get back to the regular ramblings that spill from my brain.

I just got back from Zumba and everyone reading this should be thrilled that they can't smell me. Seriously. It isn't pretty at all.

Those crazy ladies make exercising so much fun. I could have never imagined that I would have "gym" friends. Firstly because I'm not that pleasant when I am sweating and secondly because it's the freaking gym people. (I just re read this and it's isn't really clear so pretend I am the kind of person that says y'all and replace people with that)

(side note. The Voice is on in the background and I just want everyone to be aware that I love Adam Levine. He is so adorable on this show and that Payphone song is ridiculously catchy. Kind of like crack but with less side effects.)

There are sweat ladies that hold a place for me when the class gets full and funny ladies who make obnoxious comments to make me laugh and there are nice ladies that tell me I don't look as ridiculous as I feel. All the while I sweat and hope I am loosing weight.

(pausing this blog because some chick on the voice is singing Adele and I have to sing along. Really loudly. Seriously. The children are complaining.)

Wait what was I talking about? Maybe it wasn't a good idea to try and type a post and watch TV at the same time?

Oh well. I started all this by saying I'm crazy so it's not like you don't expect this.

You have no one to blame but yourself for expecting something coherent and with a point.

(Crap. Heartache Tonight? It's on my Karaoke list. I have to sing along.)

Good Night Wisconsin!

Oh yeah and thanks Zumba ladies for a fun class as always.

Just got back from Mini Vaca in Columbia SC. Another tiny southern city that I can only describe as adorable. Seriously. Calling any place where parking is free every where (I'm not kidding, every where) a city is too cute.

Back on point. We accomplished the three major vacation goals.

1. There was a hotel pool.  (Although the children contend there must also be a TV I have yet to find a hotel without one.)

2. Some form of amusement. (In this case it was the Riverbanks Zoo and Edventure Children's Museum.)

3. We consumed ridiculous amounts of food. (I'm not naming names but it was yummy and Austin the waiter was awesome.)

Basically it was a success.

Sure everything wasn't perfect. The first night we got there the kids were all excited to go swimming so we unpacked quickly before running down the freezing cold hallway to the pool. After a brief struggle with the door (there wasn't a pull sign! Why wasn't there a sign?) we filed into the pool.

Colin jumped right in. Natalie, albeit it a little bit slower, followed.

Then it was my turn and suddenly Natalie's reluctance was clear. The water was Freaking Freezing! Needless to say we didn't stay long and after a quick call to the front desk promises were made about repairs.

PS It was fixed.

Next was Colin's minor breakdown that I wouldn't buy a $25 monkey at the Zoo gift shop. I tried to explain that if we were at Walmart the monkey would cost $3 and I wasn't about to pay that mark up but he wasn't hearing it.

Some of his lack of cooperation could have been as a result of the ridiculously large slushy he had just finished or maybe it was because the idea of price fixing is beyond a seven year olds' grasp. Either way he wasn't happy.

(He did get a t-shirt and a street sign with his name on it. And yes I am well aware that I am a pushover.)

Last but certainly not least was the fact that the nice place where we boarded the family pet didn't have time to groom her. This could have been because it would have taken all day to brush out her winter coat and since it was spring break they were actually very busy.

See I told you it wasn't all perfection.

Okay seriously it was great. :-)

Why I love Facebook

I have moved a lot. And then there was the different jobs and college out of state. Basically I know a lot of people from a lot of different places. Of course they will more than likely never meet but some are so awesome I tell stories about them to the others

Sadly since these people will never meet they just have to take my word about the number of crazy people I know.

(SSS constantly tells me that Crazy attracts Crazy. It's possible he is right about this but don't tell him.)

Sorry I seem to be rambling again. Back to the point.

Yesterday I posted just some silly little thing about what I did that afternoon and what followed was a ridiculous conversation between and old friend and a new one.  Two people who will probably never meet spent a few minutes being ridiculous on facebook.

It was awesome. The best part is that it isn't even the first time.

I hope you will remember this the next time someone sends you a farmville request or an invitation to play bejeweled. Facebook can be used for good.

Okay maybe not good but at least a laugh.

these are a few of my favorite things.

So Triple S (Super Supportive Scott, AKA my husband) has added a new header to my blog that somehow manages to include my 3 favorite things (if you don't include my kids, or my husband, of course).

Number one is Chuck Norris.
If I need to explain to you why Chuck is awesome then you should leave right now. Or you can read about him here,  or watch here, did I mention he trained with Bruce Lee?


Number two is the Dodge Challenger. A modern day muscle car with 350 horses under the hood... Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Sorry. My heart stopped for a minute because I was thinking about the sound the engine makes. Have you seen it's beauty? There is currently a model of the car sitting next to the keyboard on my desk. (Test drove it again the other day but that's another story)

Number three Jason Statham.
If you haven't seen The Transporter you need to. Seriously! Stop right now and watch it's awesomeness. He takes his shirt off just to tie some guy up in it. I'm not kidding. That actually happens.He does that in a lot of his movies. It's usually my favorite part. Along with the kicking. And the punching. And the English accent.

It's like a trifecta of awesome.

Enjoy it while you can kiddies. Triple S is a fickle bastard and is likely to change it again.

OHHH. Maybe it can include Eliot Spencer?

New Title

Super supportive Scott (My alliterated Husband) has advised me that I should change the name of this blog.

I am INVINCIBLE. I'm a Loony.

He has also suggested a layout change but I'm not good at that so I'm giving him my top secret password and letting him have a go. So if things get really scary you know why.

I Can't Make This Up

My little peanut has been sick for the last few days. The only problem is that she doesn't give any warning before it's too late. Last night it had been a few hours since her last episode so we had relaxed a bit.

BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.

What follows is a play by play:

She leaned forward and I saw her face. Leaping up I grabbed her and hurried to the bathroom. My arms held out in front of me, her facing away. I didn't make it two steps before she started spewing like a fire hose.

Two steps away from the bathroom my carpet make way for some lovely oak wood flooring. (the type of flooring isn't really relevant but I was trying to give you something other than vomit to think about)

As soon as my foot his the slick surface I slipped on the remains of the peanuts dinner. Falling to the floor I managed to ensure no harm came to the little one but I was not so lucky myself. My knee smacking onto the hard wood floor with a lovely thud.
I have slid down an entire flight of wooden stairs, wiped out while skiing so spectacularly that Ski patrol came over, been tackled and wrestled and competed in any number of sports including full contact martial arts. Never once have I received anything worse than a bruise.

I've never broken, sprained, pulled or strained anything!

Oh how the mighty have fallen!

To be taken down by vomit and to not even have the story start with "I was so drunk."

Scott says I shouldn't horrify people by talking about vomit but I say that it the best part of the story.  Who cares if I slipped on a melted ice cube or some spilled juice? LAME!

Slip on vomit? HILARIOUS! At least it was after the pain subsisted.

The moral is that just because you are old and boring doesn't mean you have to stop telling stories about being covered in vomit. :-)

In case you are curious. It was been a little over a week and I have been back to the gym. I think I'm about %85 and that isn't bad for someone who has suddenly started to fall apart.

ARG!

So  my children love Big Time Rush. Some Nickelodeon created boy band ala 2000's answer to the Monkees. In an attempt to be an awesome mom I checked their tour dates and low and behold they come 'close' in March. I click on the ridiculously over sized 'buy ticket' button and the darn thing is sold out.

I tell you this because there is seriously something wrong in this world when I can't get tickets to see some mass produced boy band but B.B. King wont have a full house. (His show is next week instead of in 3 months!)

Now for my shame. I was actually looking forward to their dancing and singing. I managed to avoid getting wrapped up in any NKOTB foolishness. (I still know all the words to their Christmas album but that has more to do with a sister who played that dam CD in a freaking loop for the entire month of December.) Somehow these adorable boys have broken my hard heart.

I love their happy, poppy music. (I hang my head)

Darn you tweens and your parents(with more forethought and planning)!

Is it ridiculous to take a vacation around a concert?

I'm not asking you deadheads. Your opinions don't count.


UPDATE:
I got no less than 3 text messages letting me know about a groupon for tickets for when BTR (that's what kids in the know call Big Time Rush) comes to town at the end of the summer.

JOY JOY JOY

I can once again reclaim my title of awesomest mom ever (it's unofficial).

Wait what was the date again?

Mumbled cursing under my breath!  We will be out of town for my brothers wedding.

Do you think he would change the date? Or Maybe I could skip it. I mean I'm not a bridesmaid or anything. (The officiant isn't a member of the wedding party right?)

FOILED AGAIN