TBT: the sequel

Remember when I told you I got a check from BMG when Mili Vanili turned out to be a fake?

Blame it on the Rain is still an awesome song but apparently someone else sang it. Whatever.(in order to find this link I just had to peruse YouTube and of course I listened to the whole song so yeah I stand by my earlier statement.)



Where am I going with this? Good question.

BuzzFeed had a list today that made me think of this. 

Remember in the back of your Teen magazine there was that little tear out? For a while it was ten cassettes for a penny and then in switched to ten albums for the price of one.

Of course then you were trapped in some album of the week nightmare and if you didn't pay attention some guy from BMG was going to come a knocking looking for his money regardless of whether you wanted the latest release from lil bow wow or not.

I'm old enough that the first time I got taken with this scam it was still cassettes.

Yeah I'm old. Get over it!

I was still trying to figure out how to be cool though so my albums were all classic rock even though I didn't know how to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd. Now despite having already lived through this mail order nightmare once I did fall for it again when I switched over to CD's.

Today's BuzzFeed's list made me smile although by my count I only had 5 of the 25 albums on it.

Which 5 you may ask?

I'm not telling. I've already said too much about my questionable taste in music.

The Name Game

It's summertime. That wonderful, magical time that we look forward to all year right up until it happens then we complain how bored we are unless we have seven friends over every day.

Magical I tell you!

Don't look directly at it. That dangerous!

 We have some regularly scheduled stuff during the week, Krav Maga, gymnastics, music, the gym. Nothing that can't be moved around to indulge in some quality pool time though.

That is a good thing because we love the sun. By 'we' I mean 'I'. I love the sun so much! Give me a book and a beach towel and I am a happy girl.

My happy place!

Today though the kids were taking turns annoying each other. It's gotten to the point where I would rather they call each other not nice things because they are making me hate the names I chose for them and it wasn't an easy choice.

We put some effort into making sure neither of them had the same name as ten other kids or a confusing name with a weird spelling or something that rhymed with fart or butt-hole.

Kids are cruel and you need to think about the 9 year old jerks when you are naming your sweet baby. (I guess there are other more practical things to consider too but you have to have priorities.)

Colin was the result of a popularity contest. Triple S wanted Connor but according to the Social Security website it was more popular than Colin so I won out.

Natalie was another story entirely.  We had such a hard time picking with her. She was going to be Riley right up until the week before she was born. Then in a fit of insane pregnancy hormones I freaked out because I felt like there were Rileys every where. So I changed my mind. I say I because Triple S didn't say anything. If he thought I was insane he choose to remain silent and go with the flow.

Thank god we didn't have anything monogrammed. That would have been an expensive hormonal freak out.

So now if they could just stop whining at each other about everything I could remember how much I loved their names.

Sophomore Scream

Year 2 of teaching preschool is in the bag and I don't mean to brag but I did pretty good. I avoided the sophomore slump nicely.

Fact: My parents cheered the loudest at the graduation ceremony. (I didn't even have to pay them)

Opinion: My kids were the greatest. (although the other kids were pretty awesome too.)

Fact: Without my trusty side kick Robin I wouldn't be able to be so awesome.

Opinion: I'm pretty good at this. (At least I hope I am.)

So let the summer begin. It's time to get my tan on. (PS Remember sunblock is your friend!)

Before I let my brain cook in the Southern sun I want to remind you of a few things.


1. Glitter is like the sand of crafting. It gets everywhere and no matter how hard you try there is always a little more.

2. Hugs from small children are great. Even better are hugs that come with sweet words.

3. You can build up a tolerance to snot. Not something I wanted to learn.

4. I've never met a child that didn't like goldfish crackers.

5. Coloring with crayons is very calming.

6. Pretty band-aids are the cause of more injuries than old benches.

7. If you bring me a cup of coffee I can be swayed to do, or forgive, just about anything. Bubbly water also works.

So have a fun summer kids and if you remember only one thing from my class make sure it's that being yourself and being weird is better than normal everyday of the week.

Meat is tasty Murder

This weekend isn't about barbecues and long weekends.

It's about freedom and the people who selflessly provide it for you. The people who wait at home for someone who may or may not return. The people who get paid less than the fry guy at McDonald's to be away from their family for months, possibly years at a time.

But this isn't that blog so we are going to talk about food because no one comes here for political rants. Although I can try some if you want. I'm pretty good at ranting in general in case that wasn't obvious.

Seriously though, THANK A VETERAN!!

Now on to the stories about meat.

In an attempt to be healthier red meat is a rarity in this house but despite my earlier tirade we did attend two barbecues this weekend. Both included some super yummy food and burgers.

I love a good burger.

I don't mean some factory made meat patty. I'm talking hand formed, spiced to perfection beef.

This is the awesome part though.

There are a lot of subtle signs of friendship. Some of my favorite are the little things. Knowing how someone takes their coffee. Knowing their favorite movie. Favorite color.

The pinnacle of this weird info though is knowing how someone likes their burger.

Twice this weekend I was presented with burgers that were cooked to my version of perfection.

By the way, that is rare. I mean so rare that a skilled veterinarian could possibly resuscitate it.  I don't care about salmonella or e coli or food poisoning. I like to live dangerously and obviously the people I love most know this about me.

So thank you for my mooing burgers and for knowing me. You guys are the best.

Happy Memorial Day!!!

inappropriate language

This is an exact quote from one of Natalie's teacher today:

"Don't worry we have someone coming in to sand those bitches."

Now if you assume that my child doesn't go to some hippie progressive school or some hard core disciplinary boot camp you might be thinking about what prompted this little outburst.

Never fear because I'm going to tell you. And really you shouldn't be surprised because why would I have written a post just to tell you about a teachers potty mouth? That's boring!!!

Sorry back on topic.

When I got home from work today I was just heading into the backyard to help Triple S with our ongoing double pergola project (I'll talk about this another day but sometimes my husband rivals Norm Abram with a hammer.) when the phone rang.

It was the school and they wanted to let me know that Natalie had a splinter in an area of her body that she would not show to the nurse.

So instead of being Triple S' walking tool belt I headed over to the school. When I got there the peanut was standing patiently in the office. The staff smiled at me as I pulled her into the nurse's bathroom and closed the door.

She pulled down her pants to show me her tiny butt cheek.

I'm pretty sure I hid my surprise well as she didn't freak out until I told her I had to take the splinter out. Then she was all about the tears and the NO's.

Although it isn't fair to call something that can be used to hold a sandwich together a splinter. The darn thing was as big as a tooth pick.

This is our souvenir card. Quarter provided for scale.

It was stuck almost all the way under her skin. The poor thing. The office ladies had asked her to sit but she had politely declined and it was suddenly very clear why. Who would want to sit with a wooden spike in their cheek?

What about sanding the bitches?

Oh right. The teacher that was with Natalie when she slid across the wooden bench and impaled herself wanted to let me know the problem was going to be fixed to ensure that no other tiny bottoms were injured. 

She meant benches. Not bitches but her slip made my day so she is forgiven. Plus she was just worried about my peanut so who can blame her for a little righteous anger against an inanimate objects?

Ninja Resume

If you aren't already concerned for me you might want to rethink your stance.

I just spent the last hour getting out of a choke hold and a head lock.

Then I closed my eyes and waited to be attacked.

-Did you call the police?

No.

-Why the hell not?

Because I paid for that.

-You might want to reread 50 Shades of Grey. You are confused about "rough play".

What? No! I paid because I just got out of Krav Maga class.

What is Krav Maga you say? 

AWESOMESAUSE that's what.

This is called a "facehug" I think. I haven't learned it yet.

Okay so maybe fighting some guy isn't your idea of a great Tuesday night but I think I have mentioned before that I'm not normal.

Since we moved to the South I feel like I am only adding to my Ninja Resume and not my real one. (That is a real thing. You don't know about it because the first rule of a Ninja Resume is.... Well you know.)

That's cool though because since I can't grow anything or operate on anyone I am going to need some marketable skills when civilization collapses and I guess protection is as good a racket as any other.

Remember the Bear? I guess I'm already building up a loyal customer base.

So if you need to go somewhere and pick up cabinets you bought from a guy on craigslist let me know. I'll go with you just in case.




On a serious note. Krav Maga is excellent for anyone looking for some self defense. Especially you ladies. It doesn't hurt to know how to defend yourself.

#TBT (it's an internet thing)

In a follow up from my post about my wonderful husband and our anniversary here is a photo of me from our honeymoon in Sedona, AZ.

please note what's in my hands.

We went there because although I would be perfectly happy to bake on a beach somewhere Triple S is a bit less fond of the sun. (It's possible he would burst into flames, we've never tested that hypothesis.)

Compromise. A very auspicious beginning. (I love big words. Nerd Power!!)

digital camera circa 1997

This is the camera I brought with me. Pretty BA right? I thought that thing was the bees knees. Just like I thought my first discman was. I even got the car kit for it so I could play CD's in my 1987 Ford Tempo.

(My first CD was Eric Clapton Unplugged)

Yeah, that's right.

I'd like to say I continued that awesomeness with all my music purchases but that would be a lie.

And a story for another day.

*hint I got a check from BMG when Mili Vinili were proven to be frauds. (It was for $1.27)