I sweat, I don't glisten.

Although I don't talk about it all the time I frequent the gym. It's been a few years so I know most of the instructors and most of them know me. There are a few, of course, who I only know in passing, as I don't frequent their classes.

While having a chat with one of my good friends, who is also an instructor, one of the lesser known (to me) instructors came over.

LKI (lesser know Instructor): Ronnie right?

me- Yup

LKI- Where is your puddle?

me- Of sweat? yeah I left that in the other room.


My sweating is a topic of conversation among the gym staff.  

Yeah, you read that right. That's how bad it is! I'd be embarrassed if it wasn't true.

That's my mat after a work out. I was probably only on it for 10 minutes.

A photo from my hike. This is about halfway up the mountain. By the time we were done the only dry part of my shirt was the bottom edge. Then it started to rain and I could pretend that was why I was wearing a wet shirt.

2014!!!

What else would you call the first post of the new year?

Although this post has nothing to do with new years or resolutions, or revolutions for that matter.

It's only a coincidence that I have time today to tell you about my new game.

What new game? We remember customer service roulette with such fondness.

I know, Hasbro has nothing on me.

The week before Christmas we took the family to Charleston. Triple S had some tugboat related business to attend to, well it's not like we were busy the week before Christmas. (hahahahahahahah)

It was an awesome trip. The kids had so much fun, but more on that another day.

The new game.

Remember when we were little and we would play car games? finding the alphabet on license plates? I spy?

Hours of fun.

Now we watch movies or play angry birds and candy crush on our smart phones. While this is also fun, it means that no one looks out the window or has a conversation.

But since we have those neat smart phones why not use them?

  What is Fort Lawn?

This is how the game starts. Get those fingers typing and figure out what it is. You can decide ahead of time what criteria you are judging on. Funniest explanation or most factual. It helps of course to have a good phone or a fast connection.

Did you know they have a flea market? Every Saturday from 9-1. 

Sometimes having paid attention in 5th grade will negate the need for a phone. 

I want an Island named after me. That isn't part of the game I'm just saying wouldn't that be cool? I know you can buy a star if you want but I'm not sure how legal that is and it's not like you can live on a star. Is that guy still selling real estate on the moon? If Sci Fi has taught me anything it's that we are going to live on the moon one day. Under the sea too. Oh and there will be zombies of course. Not sure if they will make it to the moon though? I think we'll be safe there.

Maybe.

Tangent, sorry.

Back to the game.

Get your phones and her fingers ready for your next road trip and enjoy.

You're welcome by the way.

Side note: Triple S was driving when all of these photos were taken. I have issues with speed but I don't text and drive, or photograph and drive.

100, One Hundred, C

This is my 100th Blog post.

Who knew I had that much random crap in me to share with the masses?

On TV they make a big deal out of 100 episodes. They pretend it's because the show has lasted so long but really that's the magic number that makes syndication possible.

 

Syndication is where the real money in TV is. Or so I've been told. It's not like I have my own talk show. Although if someone wants to put that into production I would be %100 percent on board. It would have to be cable though. Sure I'm a preschool teacher but it would be pushing my luck to be on TV during the family hour.

I hear the FCC is pretty hardcore about some words being said on the air.

Back on point.

(Have you ever noticed that I stray from the point A LOT?)

100th post. It's special because 100 is a big number.

Right now 3 of my posts have exactly 100 views. (not sure how many are spambots. It's not my fault that my target demographic is Russian robots.) 1 2 3

My most read blog post to date is about Me and Captain Phillips.

My least read is taking the kids to see Big Time Rush. (We did make is back from the Wedding in time although it was the night before Natalie's first day of Kindergarten, I'm sure she had a great first day. Only babies need more than 6 hours of sleep.)

FB is still the main way people get here despite my Twitter/instragram/email campaign!!! I can't afford a Superbowl commercial people. Help me out.

It is also the only way people comment!!! Don't you want to comment directly on my blog that way strangers think I'm more popular that I am? Seriously Please! Comment on my blog, it brings me such joy. Don't you want to bring me joy?


The weirdest way someone found my blog was Tuxedo Ken doll. SCARY!
This week though, someone arrived here by typing "everything with fries blog", is that a real thing? Does someone write about about having fries with everything? Because that is genius!



So for my 100th post I have nothing new for you. Just recycled crap which is perfect because it is the
end of the year and everyone else is doing "year in review" crap so why not me too?

Because they actually have exciting things to recap. (you can shut up now voice in my head!)




Bonus points to anyone that knew C was the roman numeral for 100.

Why did you buy the Turbo Engine?

I live in the South now but I learned to drive in New York. Practiced in Boston and mastered my skills in New Jersey. (I have parallel parked a Tahoe in Manhattan.!)

I'm not a polite driver. I have a bit of a lead foot. I occasionally treat red lights like a drag strip. Nothing ridiculous, no 128 in a 45. I leave that to the professionals.

I dread any conversation that starts with "I saw you driving the other day."

Of course none of this makes me drive any nicer but at least I know I'm crazy right? That's got to count for something. Seriously. That counts right?

Whatever.

Back on point.

There are a lot of weird things about North Carolina driving. For one the parking lots are confusing and have so many dead ends they all kind of feel like a trap. Another is most drivers refusal to use lanes that will eventually merge.

Do you see the two red arrows? The inside lane ends in about 1000 feet. There will be 30 cars lined up on the outside lane and no one will use the inside lane. I routinely use this lane and pass 30 cars. It feels shady but there is a reason that lane is there.

There is even a sign specifically for this. All 50 states use it.

It's called a merge. Seriously.

That isn't what this is about though.

You know how they say your children learn from what you do not what you say?

Yeah well....

Colin was in the car with me and we were at the above pictured intersection. Of course I was in the merge lane. There was however, one car in front of me. When the light turned green the car proceeded to go but very slowly.

I happened to notice that she had purchased the turbo version of her car and I might have commented that is was a waste as the car was going so slow.

Colin was of course curious as to what a turbo was.

Being the good Mom that I am I explained to him what the difference between a normal engine and a turbo charged engine was.

He thought about it for a moment before turning to me.

Colin -"We have the turbo, don't we Mom?"

Me -"Heck yeah we do buddy."

This is probably why Triple S has said he will be the one teaching the kids to drive.

Black Friday is Fun for Crazy People.

One of the best things ever happened on Black Friday.

Technically it was late Turkey Day but there isn't a name for shopping on a national holiday so it stays a Black Friday story.

Yes, I go shopping on this most insane of days. No, I have never fought anyone over a TV or a game station. I've never threatened anyone. Never even seen any of these events.

It's possible that is because I live in the middle of nowhere. It always seems those stories of insanity and homicidal shopping rage occur in much more heavily populated areas but I digress.

These are pics I found online because I was too busy trying to make sure my cart didn't run over any one's toes but it is an accurate representation.

The first stop with my shopping wing lady was Target. They had cordoned off the store to create a maze like path to keep the bottle-necking down to a minimum but it meant there was really no room to turn back if you missed something without creating a cart pileup.

Also they had $2 towels. Sure they weren't the softest of towels but I have two small children and my current towels and starting to look a little worn so $2 towels sounded like a great deal.

More online photos. There was a line like this outside of Target.

As I leaned over the GIANT bin of towels to grab a few in the colors I liked a friend came rushing over and grabbed the towel out of my hand. She screamed nice and loud and I responded in kind. Yelling at her but stopping short of name calling.

It was one of those times I wished I was being followed by a camera crew because the faces on the ladies around us were priceless.

The store was crawling with police so we didn't continue our amusing improv show. Instead choosing to hug and wish each other a merry Holiday and bon shopping.

Everyone wants $3 slippers.

Traditionalist

In general I am a holiday traditionalist.

No talk of Turkey until after the costumes.

Christmas music is Never Okay until after the turkey has been cleared away.

I usually don't even start Christmas shopping until Black Friday. Although that has more to do with the sales than the timing. I can be a bit of a procrastinator.

Sadly this year I was forced to break my rules.

Last year you might remember Triple S was gone for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Great news being he will be home this year. Of course he has to go back to the boat Friday morning.

Now you might be thinking Blah Blah who cares about when he is going to the boat?

But I have a point to this boring information.

Today we went tree shopping and if you are going to go tree shopping then you need to have Christmas music. It's the law and it trumps the rule of Thanksgiving.

You might remember last year we got a GIANT tree. Sadly though, we moved and our new house doesn't have that ridiculous ceiling. (YEAH!!) So instead of getting a giant tree I got two. That seemed like the only logical solution to the ridiculous amount of ornaments I've collected over the years.

Downstairs Tree

Upstairs Tree

So Christmas started a bit early here.

Now I have to go write down my Black Friday shopping list. Yeah, I wake up early and brave the crowds. As if you needed more examples of my crazy.

Applesauce is why Triple S is my Perfect Match

reader-Do you try and make your titles confusing?

me-That doesn't sound like something I'd do.

reader-Are you sure because sometimes we feel like you are just messing with us? I mean what does applesauce have to do with your husband? Wait, maybe this isn't a question we want answered?

Relax. You people have such dirty minds (one of the reasons I love you so much). This is a totally PG story. Maybe even G.

New cars now have the digital radios that display the radio station and the song you are listening too. No more having to try and catch the DJ telling you who it is.

Sorry but I had to enlist an outside photographer as I was driving and although there are no celebrities telling me not to take pics and drive I'm still pretty sure it's unsafe. Possibly even illegal.

 The first time this song came on I was certain it said APPLESAUCE. I thought that was weird but then I noticed it was a Lady Gaga song and well, that lunatic wore a dress made out of meat. When you think about that a song about applesauce doesn't seem that far fetched.

It was a few days before I realized the real name of the song. No harm no foul. Pretty sure Lady Gaga is still a lunatic.

A week later Triple S and I were in the car together and the song came on again.

Triple S-Lady Gaga loves applesauce?

Me- What?

Triple S-She wrote a song about applesauce.

I laughed and laughed and laughed. Then I explained to him how this proved he was my soul mate.