Hairstory: living on the scissors edge.

So back when I was about 12 I got a really short hair cut. A pixie some would call it. It wasn't something I wanted or thought was a good idea but I tried to convince myself it would work out.

Right about this time there was a commercial for Doublemint gum that featured two reasonably attractive women with short hair.

I could be just like them.

Look how carefree they are in their matching tennis sweaters. For some reason I remember them having a tandem bike and yes I know that isn't helping my case.

Stop judging me. It was the 80's dammit!

In the end though I really didn't have a choice, you see a few months before I had been talked into a perm. Oh yeah! The kind where you sit at the salon for hours with that horrible stinky stuff on your head.  I was never crazy about that idea either but remember it was the 80's.

Needless to say it turned out awesome (sadly I don't have any pictures so you'll just have to take my word for it.). The problems started not long after because I was on a swim team spending way too much time in over chlorinated pools.

By the end of the season my hair was so fried it was breaking off in my hands. Drastic measures were necessary. So I convinced myself that I could pull off short hair.

So off it came. Along with it went any chance of me outgrowing my awkward tom boy appearance until it grew back. That was fine though. I survived and vowed I would never cut my hair short again!

never mind the hair what is up with those eyebrows?

I'm no Audrey Hepburn that is for sure.

Who cares about your hairstory (that's like history and hair mashed together)?

Good new word! Chill I'm getting to the point.

If you've been reading this blog, and obviously you have because you are here right now, right? You know I did it again. A little over a year ago I walked into a salon and cut it all off! Not sure why I decided too. Guess I was getting bored and changing the color every other month was wearing thin.

Whatever the reason I cut it off and was pleasantly surprised. I actually like it short.

Wait. What was my point again when I started this?

Oh yeah. It was crazy hair day at preschool this week and for the second year in a row I sported a Mohawk! Yeah that's right. I spiked that stuff right up.

This is this year's fabulous look. Admittedly it is more Elvis than Mohawk. But I still look BA.

Thank you, thank you very much!

Last Year it was the perfect FauxHawk.  It was red too although you can't tell that from the picture. Also I went out to eat with all the ladies from the school looking like this since they just switched their pigtails to pony tails I was the only one who looked like a lunatic. BEST PART was the people who saw me who didn't acknowledge my hair.




I'm not sure if I should be insulted or pleased that this is a look people think I might try? HMMMMM




So yeah. This is the kind of stuff I do now. I'm not sure if 12 year old me would think it was awesome or not but one thing is certain. If I find a green sweater vest I'm going to rock it!

 So far I've only been able to find a child's size but I'm not giving up!







PS Another advantage of short hair is horns in the shower. Yup. I use my shampoo to turn myself into a magical unicorn. Because I'm awesome. Try not to be jealous.

PPS this totally counts as a Throw Back Thursday entry since I included I picture of young and impressionable me.

Snowmageddon 2014: The end will be COLD

Snowpocalypse, how about Snowragnarok? Snowtaclysm? Snowlocaust? Get me a thesaurus and I'll do this all day long because anything is better than naming storms. Damn you Weather Channel! Damn you straight to Hell.

If you own a TV you have heard about the East coast's epic snow storm. (Polar Vortex) The second in the past few weeks. Certainly you saw the footage of the Atlanta traffic jam or you heard about the school closings?

Holy Crap Atlanta.

The internet is awash with cartoons and angry responses. Northerners laughing at Southerners who can't handle two inches of snow. Southerners calling Northerners meanie heads and other equally hurtful names.

So far my kids have missed 6 days of school.

Yeah 6 days.

Pretty accurate sign for everything.

This isn't a bash the South blog though. Lets be honest people. Driving in the snow is a skill  and if you have never done it you aren't going to be aces your first time out. But then I guess that is my point.

DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE IF THERE IS SNOW ON THE GROUND!!!

You know one tiny little inch causes people to freak out so stay the hell home.

What about the people who can't stay home? Like Doctors and Firefighters? 

Fine. That is what? Like 5% of the population? Get yourself a 4x4 and go to work and thank you for being there if I need you.

Two inches is generous. This also happens with flurries.

I'm looking at you Bread and Milk people! STAY HOME. What the hell are you doing with all that stuff anyway?

Same goes for you lady who can't miss her nail appointment. You can and you should.

Today is not the day to run out and grab a quick bite to eat.

OMG I forgot I don't have any cumin!

Seriously. I will slap you. STAY HOME.

Get cozy. Maybe turn on your free Netflix trial. Snow days are perfect for TV marathons. May I suggest the BBC's Sherlock. Then you can join in the Internet's obsession with Benedict Cumberbatch.

In the mean time I will be shovelling. UGH! Something I though I was done with when I moved down here.

 It wasn't all bad though. The kids got to build an actual snowman.

Yeah he's wearing sunglasses. It was bright out and I don't have any coal. Wait. Maybe I should head to the store to get some?



That was a test. If you just yelled at me to stay home then you have learned something today. Now go forth and share your new knowledge with all of your friends.

Tales from The Preschool

In the past I have talked about being a teacher and all the funny stuff, I mean all the educational stuff we do.

Remember when I taught the kids to keep "one hand for the ship."? Epic.

This week my success is measured in the words of one of my sweet students.

Student: (hand raised) "Miss Ronnie, I have a statement."

Yeah! A five year old said that.

He said that because when we are all gathered round in the morning to talk about the letters, shapes, colors, the calender, the weather, dogs and daughters, (no big whoop) and who is going to Hilton Head that weekend a lot of hands interrupt my knowledge imparting.

Now I'm totally cool with questions (even off topic ones that involve why Miss Ronnie wears so many Batman shirts) but I'm not a fan of random stories.

How cruel. They are just little kids. Let them share their joy.

Chill! I totally let them share, sometimes overshare, just not during 'circle time'. That's what people in the know call it.

I ask them if they have a question; something that needs an answer from me. Or a statement; a story they just want to tell the class.

Question or statement. BIG DIFFERENCE.

They say you have to repeat something like a thousand times before a child gets it. (that's science!) I thought I was only in the 900's but I guess I lost count somewhere or this little boy is just a child prodigy the likes of a Doogie Howser.

So yeah I was walking a little taller today.

Snow, It's that cold white stuff falling from the sky.

In the past I've talked about the South being awesome.

It isn't perfect though.

Certainly they can't make a good pizza or a bagel. (DO NOT START TELLING ME I'M WRONG AND THAT YOU CAN GET THEM AT SUCH AND SUCH PLACE. I can't have my heart broken again.)

So far this winter my kids have had three late start days due to COLD.

Yeah, you read that right. It hasn't even snowed and they have already had three half days.

Half days don't affect the school year though so who really cares? Plus they mean I got to sleep two hours later. A joy I won't pass up.

Yes after almost 3 hours the grass is still poking through.

Snow is funny down here because there are no plows. No salt trucks. No snow removal vehicles of any kind. It makes sense. In the three years since I moved it has only snowed twice. Not really a fiscally responsible move to have a team of plows standing at the the ready.

The first time it snowed was Christmas 2010. The kids missed five days of school. Five days of school because it snowed 1 inch. 

That isn't a typo. One, Uno, Ein, Un. 

A whole week of school for snow that I shoveled (pointlessly), in a t-shirt.

Right now it is snowing again. I already had to go get my kids from school 2 hours early and although it isn't official, there is no way they will have school tomorrow.

We stopped by Target before it started and people where clearing the shelves of the proverbial milk and bread. (Why are those the foods we assume we will need if we are trapped in our houses?)

Side note: Down here all the Targets have full grocery stores in them. It's crazy.

Right now it has been snowing steady (but slow) for about 3 hours and it is expected to continue till 2am. We might see some actual snow.  Already the ridiculousness has started. I watched my neighbor try and get his Dodge Ram pick up into his driveway. He made 3 attempts because he forgot he was driving a truck and it has four wheel drive. I'm not kidding. 3 attempts.

His driveway is basically flat with the tiniest slope at the beginning and he had a hard time getting up it.

In case you were wondering this is a brand new truck. It's not like it was some 1980's beast that he would have had to lock the hubs on.

Arrow is pointing to his driveway. Steep it is not. Please also note my kids trying desperately to make snow balls.

Last time it snowed Triple S and I went out the next day and the number of vehicles in ditches was easily a double digit figure. Most were trucks and some stayed there for a full week despite the fact that the snow had melted completely away by the end of day one.

So I guess the point of this is "how many?"

How many days are the kids going to miss? Who wants to place bets?

I wear my Nerd Card with pride.

It does scare people sometimes.

So I moved. I've mentioned it before. To a wonderful planned community. The houses are lovely examples of classic American architecture.

They also happen to look very similar and everyone seems to really love earth tones. There are a lot of variations on the brown theme. Not to mention the houses have all been built in the last year so no one has really had time to change anything. No fancy landscaping or personal details.

Right now it has a distinctive Stepford feel.

Blah Blah Blah, no one cares about your new house. Stop bragging about your American dream.

Sorry. There is a point in this.

Once a month the ladies from the development meet in the clubhouse for drinks and chatting. It gives us a chance to get to know our neighbors and to talk about how much we love the South. (Not sure how I'm disproving that Stepford comment yet.)

When new ladies arrive we go through the process of explaining which house we live in.

Mrs. X: I live in the one with the double porch.

Mrs. Y: Oh the one in the cul de sac?

Mrs. X: No the one across from the pool.

Mrs. Y: Oh with the dark brown trim or the beige trim?

Mrs. X: Dark Brown.

This is a typical conversation.

Not me though.

All I have to say is Blue Door. Yup. Two words and everyone smiles and nods because they know what I'm talking about.

What does this have to do with being a nerd?

Excellent question. I swear you guys are so smart.

Stop sucking up. We still aren't going to comment on your blog.

Please? Never mind you heartless bastards. Back to the story.

Usually they follow it up with a question about why I love the color blue so much.

Last night though I skipped over the regular pleasantries and told them the truth.

My door is TARDIS blue.

Yeah I just admitted my door color was chosen based on my nerd love of a TV show.

That just happened. Surprisingly, I feel no shame.

There were a few pleasant smiles and some quiet chuckles but not a one of them knew who Doctor Who was so then I was forced to explain it.

That was a bad decision. Trying to explain Doctor Who to people who have never even heard of it is like trying to explain physics, in French, to a 3 year old.

That is to say I sounded insane, angry and I wasn't making any sense all at the same time.

So I didn't find any new nerd souls sisters but I did horify my neighbors and that sometimes can be just as rewarding.

I sweat, I don't glisten.

Although I don't talk about it all the time I frequent the gym. It's been a few years so I know most of the instructors and most of them know me. There are a few, of course, who I only know in passing, as I don't frequent their classes.

While having a chat with one of my good friends, who is also an instructor, one of the lesser known (to me) instructors came over.

LKI (lesser know Instructor): Ronnie right?

me- Yup

LKI- Where is your puddle?

me- Of sweat? yeah I left that in the other room.


My sweating is a topic of conversation among the gym staff.  

Yeah, you read that right. That's how bad it is! I'd be embarrassed if it wasn't true.

That's my mat after a work out. I was probably only on it for 10 minutes.

A photo from my hike. This is about halfway up the mountain. By the time we were done the only dry part of my shirt was the bottom edge. Then it started to rain and I could pretend that was why I was wearing a wet shirt.

2014!!!

What else would you call the first post of the new year?

Although this post has nothing to do with new years or resolutions, or revolutions for that matter.

It's only a coincidence that I have time today to tell you about my new game.

What new game? We remember customer service roulette with such fondness.

I know, Hasbro has nothing on me.

The week before Christmas we took the family to Charleston. Triple S had some tugboat related business to attend to, well it's not like we were busy the week before Christmas. (hahahahahahahah)

It was an awesome trip. The kids had so much fun, but more on that another day.

The new game.

Remember when we were little and we would play car games? finding the alphabet on license plates? I spy?

Hours of fun.

Now we watch movies or play angry birds and candy crush on our smart phones. While this is also fun, it means that no one looks out the window or has a conversation.

But since we have those neat smart phones why not use them?

  What is Fort Lawn?

This is how the game starts. Get those fingers typing and figure out what it is. You can decide ahead of time what criteria you are judging on. Funniest explanation or most factual. It helps of course to have a good phone or a fast connection.

Did you know they have a flea market? Every Saturday from 9-1. 

Sometimes having paid attention in 5th grade will negate the need for a phone. 

I want an Island named after me. That isn't part of the game I'm just saying wouldn't that be cool? I know you can buy a star if you want but I'm not sure how legal that is and it's not like you can live on a star. Is that guy still selling real estate on the moon? If Sci Fi has taught me anything it's that we are going to live on the moon one day. Under the sea too. Oh and there will be zombies of course. Not sure if they will make it to the moon though? I think we'll be safe there.

Maybe.

Tangent, sorry.

Back to the game.

Get your phones and her fingers ready for your next road trip and enjoy.

You're welcome by the way.

Side note: Triple S was driving when all of these photos were taken. I have issues with speed but I don't text and drive, or photograph and drive.